Just something Snake and I did really fast. It was all written tonight as a screw around track, so it might not be too amazing, but I wanted to post anyway.
LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=164818&p=2378541#p2378541
Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0qQRJ0RdM8
(CanadaPure / Snake)
--------------------------------------
I was born with no limbs as a baby without an arm,
In the outskirts, like pussies when ladies get out of cars,
(What?) I dunno, I ain't got a clue, I don't know how to write lyrics,
Despite hearing some of the greatest rappers on the mic's spirits,
When I close my eyes at night near the two way radio in the basement,
And it sounds a lot like two gays raping you in the face and,
(What?) My train of thought is off the rails, a brainless snot,
With a veinless cock, I'll lift one leg up and spray your dog,
(What?) Sometimes I prey to god, oh Jesus I wish I was homosexual,
I'd sit at home beatin' it, but I dont even own a testicle,
I'm a homeless-sexual, because I only fuck dirty street women,
(What?) Everyone's on my cock like I skeet pudding,
I just took X, Viagra, PCP, Blood Thinners, and Sleeping Pills,
And I'm trying to lose weight, so fuck dinner, 'cause eating kills,
(What?) I am anorexia (What?) I'm about to die from a blood clot,
That's why I (What?) rap about (What?) this (What?)... FUCK OFF!
Who here's witnessing me? I'm as sick as can be,
Respect that disease eatin' up your dick cause it's me,
Who here's witnessing me? I'm as sick as can be,
So you'd better skip the toilet and just shit in your seat,
You know what’s really fuckin small? (No) My penis
I can probably fucking jack off with the skin of my weenus
But to make up for the limited size of my tiny, thin 2D penis
I’ve got testicles as fucking humongous as two to three tree nuts
They’re filled with semen, and when I come, I come like a fire hose (PSHHH)
Maybe I love attention, but at least I don’t apply shit to my nose
As you can see, these nuts are in their sack and are wired to grow,
I am ballsy enough to make water flammable and force fire to flow
I will yell about my ass and how you can just jump on to and kiss its seam
I’ll pull down my boxers; see that large shit stain? I want you to lick it clean
Well I think I’ll stick the head of my dick into your eye before you can blink,
Skullfuck your brain till you pass out in the sink, then stab you with pen and ink
But, we’re getting off topic, back to dicks
To fuck me it sucks but trust me its magnetic
And its as hard as diamond stick, and all of you scoff
But when you get on my dick its hard to get off
Who here's witnessing me? I'm as sick as can be,
Respect that disease eatin' up your dick cause it's me,
Who here's witnessing me? I'm as sick as can be,
So you'd better skip the toilet and just shit in your seat,
I'm allergic to most things, including dating, apparently,
So I sit at home and daydream about girls waiting to marry me,
Just to fuck now, get them pregnant and then cut town,
I'm trying to cut down, but slut how 'bout you show me that cunt? WOW!,
(Wow...) I'm looking for mild amusement, but I'm a child abuser,
Vileness spewin' smile-less boozer, I'm kind of a loser,
My spine has been fusin', my posture has become impossible,
Is it possible I've been swapped for a awful imposter though?
(No...) Oh. Do any of you remember back when Tyler Perry was funny?
(No...) Oh. And come to think of it, I'd like to marry for money,
Go to court, get divorced, and run away with my half of the profit,
All stashed in my pocket, jeans bulging like "my ass is just rockin'!",
That's such a shock that my ex-wife goes into cardiac arrest,
I tried to start compressions, but I was staring hard right at her chest,
She died, and the story pretty much ended there, yes but of course,
I'm locked up in jail now for having sex with her corpse.