Big Cat

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 02:42

Sat down one day and decided to write a rap
Didn't know what to write about so I wrote about a fucking cat
The fucking cat was so big that it didn't fit in the front or back
Of my Hummer it was such a bummer that I took it back
To the animal shelter and said "I ain't dealing with such a fat cat-"
Lady cut me off like "you can't return an animal. What's up with that?"
I'm like "yes I can"
She said "guess again"
I threw the cat on the counter all 80,000 pounds of her
And walked out of that bitch left the lady feeling like I raped her from the back
And I said "that's it, I'm done with cats"
So I went and bought a dog
That's right dawg I went and bought a dog
And here goes story number 1 in my little rhyme log

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=167587#p2508427

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 02:43

Just a verse I put together. Feedback would be appreciated. Preferably at least 1 positive comment and a piece of constructive criticism. Thanks.

by **CanadaPure** » Dec 8th, '13, 02:49

You need a link of feedback, PM me one (check the CW rules for what I mean) and I will re-open this thread.

Edit: Updated with LOF for OP

by **Just Silver** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:32

Lol very simplistic rhyming in the beginning but was a fun read

Definitely keep writing the concept was random but I could've seen this being much more expanded upon

Good stuff

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:33

Thanks bro. Yeah it was such a random idea that popped into my head and I just played it out and kind of wrote it down.

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:36

i liked this. it was similar to how i used to write. you had good ideas, and good starts for multis and stuffs, but you went with simpler basic 1 syllable end thymes through out. a fun read, and with practice you will get better at rhyming and adding variation. good ideas, cant wait to see how you write as you get better :y:

by **CanadaPure** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:37

Really simplistic writing, but you'll improve as you work on it more. You had some better rhymes like yes I can/guess again though, so the whole things wasn't two simplistic. One thing I would try doing is writing to a beat, and then including a link to the beat when you post. It makes it easier to follow along.

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:40

sneakerheadshady wrote:i liked this. it was similar to how i used to write. you had good ideas, and good starts for multis and stuffs, but you went with simpler basic 1 syllable end thymes through out. a fun read, and with practice you will get better at rhyming and adding variation. good ideas, cant wait to see how you write as you get better

Thanks man :y:

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:40

CanadaPure wrote:Really simplistic writing, but you'll improve as you work on it more. You had some better rhymes like yes I can/guess again though, so the whole things wasn't two simplistic. One thing I would try doing is writing to a beat, and then including a link to the beat when you post. It makes it easier to follow along.

Ok thanks

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:44

shadyblogger wrote:
CanadaPure wrote:Really simplistic writing, but you'll improve as you work on it more. You had some better rhymes like yes I can/guess again though, so the whole things wasn't two simplistic. One thing I would try doing is writing to a beat, and then including a link to the beat when you post. It makes it easier to follow along.

Ok thanks

also, as an afterthought, the rhyme log line was cool

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:47

Thanks sneaker. Yeah like I thought I had a short multi going like "fucking cat", "front or back", "up with that", "from the back", "done with cats." I was just experimenting I guess but I'm definitely gonna keep it up and keep writing to improve hopefully.

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:48

shadyblogger wrote:Thanks sneaker. Yeah like I thought I had a short multi going like "fucking cat", "front or back", "up with that", "from the back", "done with cats." I was just experimenting I guess but I'm definitely gonna keep it up and keep writing to improve hopefully.

aweosme. i hope you do. cant wait to see what you do for freddy k also

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:52

sneakerheadshady wrote:
shadyblogger wrote:Thanks sneaker. Yeah like I thought I had a short multi going like "fucking cat", "front or back", "up with that", "from the back", "done with cats." I was just experimenting I guess but I'm definitely gonna keep it up and keep writing to improve hopefully.

aweosme. i hope you do. cant wait to see what you do for freddy k also

Thanks. I'm excited too!

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 8th, '13, 18:50

good luck on it. btw the beat for the carnival peice is in the OP of my post

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 23:57

sneakerheadshady wrote:good luck on it. btw the beat for the carnival peice is in the OP of my post

Yeah I checked it out. It's a sick beat. My verse might be very Relapse influenced.

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