A bit random..

[Flamez]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=170131&start=15#p2607739

Walking around the block I hear gunshots from the local library
Bystanders silently start taking pictures like some sneaky paparazzi
Next door is an elementary school filled with stupid kids
Sixth grade chicks acting like bitches that fit right in the mix
Its symbolic in today’s fucked up society filled with stupid shit
teenagers sayin’ I quit my job it sucks fuckin’ just deal with it
and listening to garbage radio music from that little cunt Bieber, fuck Justin
and miley cyrus’s ass looks like uncut foreskin it’s fuckin’ disgusting
I remember the ratchet bitch in hannah montana used to be attractive
I was attracted sat on the couch pulled my shorts down and masturbated
I was so active felt so alive pulling that dick like a silly putty
A chubby kid with a naughty grin watching the teletubbies
Fuck my penis worked harder than a bitch at the gym takin’ selfies…

[HotDawg]

lolllllllllllllll nice

[Just Silver]

Pretty decent had a shaky start with flow then got better still had good choice of words and such

A little on the short side but it was still something haven't seen u write for a while
Overall nice shit just try to shorten some bars well unless it's necessary for a long flow

[Flamez]

thanks man and will try that haha

[Spyder]

Obviously just a joke piece but, didn't really incorporate much multies in there and the rhyming was pretty basic. Nothing really made me laugh and this was essentially a comedy piece. Keep at it though.