CrashBand

[CrashBand]

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[Solace]

Nice, scheme from flying carpet to side the margins was nice

I've done something recently with the struggling artist/studying darwin scheme too lol, kinda cool to see that there. good shit

micheal larsen doe

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Yeah, I gotta agree with Solace. The flying carpet (even though I didn't really like that line) all the way to outside the margins scheme was excellent. That was the high point of this piece. Before and after that, mostly before, was a little weird/sloppy. The multis kept you on your toes, though, towards the middle, and held the verse from falling completely apart. Maybe it went over my head, but I kept asking myself what this piece was actually about lol maybe recording it would do it justice.

Btw, thanks for introducing me to Michael Larson lol didn't know who he was, so I looked him up. Interesting stuff.

P.s. I love that "only my poetry is my priority" line.

[Solace]

I thought the whole piece was solid but in regards to this

Maybe it went over my head, but I kept asking myself what this piece was actually about lol

I can see this being split into two distinct verses

I do what I want, when I want to
I ain’t depending on no one, ‘cos I know when I want you
Get a move on with your little life and do what you..
gotta do, would I really be living right if you got too..
caught up in sum’in that’ll never change
Might as well live
‘Cos I can only think for seven days
What’s been since?
Stuck in the room and my bedroom man
Might as well sit
See you that lying around bitch
And you can’t cry about shit
See you got food, clothes, shelter and a fam
(Ain’t that enough?)
That’s all you need, what more what you want a grammy?
(that man enough)
That really gonna make you happy when you angry
Like you just give it a rub and all of sudden everything’s dandy
Ummm
Forget a movie about some boy and girl with a flying carpet
I’d rather watch that one with Ricky Gervais about how lying started
I’m writing my rhymes, I’ve got no time to try to find Havana
Sayonara to that knight in shining amour kinda garbage

Struggling artist, studying Darwin
Trying to get that fire sparked..
When life is hard, I’m lying around analysing lines by Michael Larson
I already know that night is dark
Feel like I’m gon’ to shine regardless
I’ve gotta write just like my last day
Gotta think outside the margins
Living the way that I wanna, I don’t want be anything like the majority
I’ve really never believed in authority
Only my poetry is my priority
Anything else is just impermanent
Even my love and my friends who’ll die in time
So all I wanna do is write my rhymes
'til the day I finally try to find who’s me

And then it becomes a lil easier on the eyes when looking at the topics discussed

[Devil'sAdvocate]

This is really good.

[CrashBand]

Yeah, I gotta agree with Solace. The flying carpet (even though I didn't really like that line) all the way to outside the margins scheme was excellent. That was the high point of this piece. Before and after that, mostly before, was a little weird/sloppy. The multis kept you on your toes, though, towards the middle, and held the verse from falling completely apart. Maybe it went over my head, but I kept asking myself what this piece was actually about lol maybe recording it would do it justice.

P.s. I love that "only my poetry is my priority" line.

It's kinda stream-of-consiousness styled writing bruv.

Also, maybe I'll try record it. Because i don't think that middle section is the best. Problem is, I can't record really, or if I do it will be very low quality. maybe i'll just pm u guys or something.

Btw, thanks for introducing me to Michael Larson lol didn't know who he was, so I looked him up. Interesting stuff.

btw, Michael Larson is Eyedea, the rapper. There's another Michael Larson who won some gameshow or something.

[Solace]

Niggas talking about low quality like they can't afford a $15 mic like I did

spell 'is name right goddamnit

[CrashBand]

cbf getting all that shit.

but i might just record it on my computer and show u.

ignoring the quality, so u can just get a feel for what it is like, y'know.

[Just Silver]

I liked the rhyming but the flow to me sounded a little too light
I know it was a little more emotional near the beginning
And sometimes I don't quite understand the "( )" lines but they'd work in audio

Overall decent stuff had a subject and did what writers do good shit

[Solace]

cbf getting all that shit.

but i might just record it on my computer and show u.

ignoring the quality, so u can just get a feel for what it is like, y'know.

Would be cool

[Mr.DGAF]

Good stuff. That first line with the Kendrick vibe haha. Like the never change/seven days well live/been since stuff. Were you going with the bedroom man scheme too with the seven days part or no? Seemed like it could work but idk. Like everyone else though the sayanora/shining armor part was my favorite, just rolled off the tongue. Couldn't get a grip for the flow tho, would definitely like to hear you record it to try and see how you worked it.

[CrashBand]

Good stuff. That first line with the Kendrick vibe haha. Like the never change/seven days well live/been since stuff. Were you going with the bedroom man scheme too with the seven days part or no? Seemed like it could work but idk. Like everyone else though the sayanora/shining armor part was my favorite, just rolled off the tongue. Couldn't get a grip for the flow tho, would definitely like to hear you record it to try and see how you worked it.

yea, i kinda pronounce it "mane" instead of "man" lol.

and yea. i'll record it on my lappy, and pm u it. just so u get the flow and shit.

[CrashBand]

Fantastic Great to see you drop something, Crash. Your style seems different from what I remember, but it's definitely smooth as eggs, would like to see more in the future hombre.

ya it's way different.

i used to be like next level shit. but could always write battle rap quite well.

[Sam.]

The part after "ummm" is really outta this world. I loved it.