Fa-Q - Apocalypse's Footprints

[Fa-Q]

Destruction in every step, stomping a muck on the planet earth,
With seeds planted, a bullet explodes a pomegranites worth,
He's got radium traces, under his each finger nails,
The rotting flesh is gone, but the smell lingers trails,
His skull cracks open, like slippery, white egg shells,
He's develops athletes foot, when his legs'n wells,
he shaves once a day, and his alcoholic peach fuzz,
Every night with friends, until his mind reaches buzz,
Blood being sucked, showing what his leach loves,
Yet he stairs at them worrying what each does,
Work tomorrow, the next, and soon the day after,
And as the week progresses, so strays laughter,
Screaming out "Mercy," his soul joins the rest,
As he hates his wife, and her full coins on'er chest,
And this is Connor's best, so she's gon'ta her nest,
Even though he's less attractive, she fond of him less,

Empty heart, everyday its drowned in sorrow,
And I know where he'll be found tomorrow,
At the bar sittin with stained shirt, let's talk to his lips,
So let us follow, for a day, the footprints of Apocolypse,

While he's out of a home, looks at his hair he's about to comb,
He follows the dark road, and I doubt to Rome,
With a pointy dunce hat, he's just a pouty gnome,
He applies for a job, with little credibility, "My head is killing me"
Is what he says, rubbin his forehead, as he answerin' phones,
Dying slowly each day, feelin the painful cancer in his bones,
His chain around his ankle, keeps his pace at a slow walk,
Apocalypse whispers, its five'o'clock, do you have no clock,
He knows each day, without Jack, he's livin' on the edge,
Its like the right pedals pushed, and he's driven to the ledge,
Can he still love his wife, with saggy eyes, and crows feet,
Everyday he sees a bartender, as he shows his seat,
And as he stumbles out of the bar, now glows the street,
Apocalypse sees a broken window, looks to see actin vandals,
But how can he fight, with his friend in him, Jack Daniels,
Now he's in hell, surrounding him are attacking candles,

Empty heart, everyday its drowned in sorrow,
And I know where he'll be found tomorrow,
At the bar sittin with stained shirt, let's talk to his lips,
So let us follow, for a day, the footprints of Apocolypse,

Rockin the bar stool, shot glass after shot glass,
And he can't make a comment that's not crass,
Askin why that Plasma screen, has ta' scream,
His peach fuzz penetrates, way past the cream,
Will he make I home, stumblin and fall on his front lawn,
Wake up, and his head telling him, I don't want dawn,
Does he really know really, he's lost his whole head,
not knowing it'll all end with him in a hospital bed,
Will I try and drive drunk, and kill another family,
And go to the funeral, and her mother can't stand me,
And if he can't kill me, will her brother go to plan B,
Will it really matter, Apocalypse will just return tomorrow,
He'll never look in his own window, to learn his sorrow,
And as he sits there, drinkin Jack and burnin a Marlo,
I wonder when will Apocalypse's footprints end,
And when they do, I wonder if Apocalypse repents sin,

[gutawafang]

Vocab.

Storytelling.

Chorus.

[Fa-Q]

Vocab.

Storytelling.

Chorus.

Foreal? Thanks Fish

[Just Silver]

Damn you just piling on work

Good chorus actually liked it (usually text choruses are hard to perceive)

Overall entertaining and a story that definitely stands out

How long did this take Just wonderin

[Fa-Q]

Damn you just piling on work

Good chorus actually liked it (usually text choruses are hard to perceive)

Overall entertaining and a story that definitely stands out

How long did this take Just wonderin

10 minutes...no joke...I just sat down and wrote about an alcoholic...weird. And usually the hook slows my down but this one came right out...thanks silv

[Fa-Q]

I tried working on structure this time

[classthe_king]

lol well your structure is getting better, that's actually really impressive for 10 minutes. It takes me days and days to write a full song. If you wanna work on structure, read solaces stuff cause that's what I use to help me with mine.

[Fa-Q]

lol well your structure is getting better, that's actually really impressive for 10 minutes. It takes me days and days to write a full song. If you wanna work on structure, read solaces stuff cause that's what I use to help me with mine.

Ok thanks and yea usually it takes me just under a week to perfect a song but this one just flowed right out thanks for the feed class

[Yah-hah]

Yeah wat they said lol. Chorus was really dope, one of your best that way. I dig the concept and the story telling. Was pretty tight man

[Fa-Q]

Thanks Jus

[Fa-Q]

Hey thanks everybody....I'm really proud of this piece...

[Doctor Skittlez]

I Liked This Shit, Fam, F'Real, But The Flow Was Choppy At Certain Bits... I'm Listenin' To A String Of Instrumentals Right Now, So The Flow Seemed Off In These Places:

"Will it really matter, Apocalypse will just return tomorrow,
He'll never look in his own window, to learn his sorrow,
And as he sits there, drinkin Jack and burnin a Marlo,"
Like Try Addin' Another Line Wit' The Same Type Of End Rhyme... The Multies Didn't Really Match Up Syllable For Syllable, Either, N' That Threw It Off A Li'l Bit.

"Now he's in hell, surrounding him are attacking candles,"
This Line Seemed Highly Outta Place. A Li'l Corny In Comparison Wit' The Rest Of The Piece. Try Somin' Like "Drownin' in flames, heat so catastrophic like attacking candles"... Like, Try Usin' Bigger Vocab. It Helps Out A Lot Wit' The Sound Of A Piece.

But The Overall Piece Was Nice, Just Had A Couple Things That I Think You Should Work On. Try Re-Editin' This Shit Or Somin', Fam.

[Fa-Q]

Thanks Skit

[Fa-Q]

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[Fa-Q]

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