MONOLOGUE PT. 2 need help quick!

[Ticalrecords]

so i have another chance to perform a monologue, and i plan on doing this one i wrote. background info: my teacher was absent the day i presented, so a substitute recorded my piece. as feedback he told me that i cant be cursing in class and that i should be aware of my audience. this is my response haha

I’ll tell you what really irks me, firstly, Grace Slick told me to feed my head, which I’ve done so now I’m feeding yours. Trying to enlighten you that in America, artistic freedom doesn’t ring it roars. You can hear it, but even when major labels hold originality as its dearest, I still gotta ask why are you treating my thoughts like a sample clearance? Marinate on THAT for a moment, dues ex machine? Nah I'm just waiting for the trap door to open. but no seriously I wanna talk about the concept, of taking words out of context – becuz that’s some bullshit! I stand up here TRYING to get my point across, I pair two words together and this guy jumps up looking poised to pause – the recordin', so I sit down thinking that im scorin', a point for originality – but instead im labeled abhorrent, so im here to correct the fallacy. SEE THIS IS WHAT GOT ME! TIME AND TIME AGAIN! He said NOTHING about the message I was trying to send. All he said was “Oooh you need to know the expectations of your audience.” Well thank you Doctor Obvious, for pointing that out, as my response heres a reminder :
I don’t want words from the wise, I want the ears of the wiser. So LISTEN! Cuz damn it just seems like any positive words heard are coming from the wrong lips, like , wait wut was I gonna say? [Audience screams] “CAN YOU SAY TOO MANY BONG HITS?”. Your right my bad – but do you get what im sayin? IM waiting for an answer – no seriously I asked, “Can I Kick It?” mr. camera man said “yes you can”, so (KICK) im breaking the fourth wall. Now ya follow me? [audience answers] Good then call me jesus. im tellin you, im gonna kill this rap game and I cant wait till im putting the last nail through its coffin. Be honored, you saw in minute detail how the first nail impales wood when knocked in.

hahaha check ya head your ears were just now robbed. so put your damn hands up like you just found God.


at the place marked, my friends will scream the line out, itll b preplanned. the last line idk if i wanna end it like that, wut do yall think?