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Lyrical Exercise

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Lyrical Exercise

Postby Ticalrecords » Apr 15th, '10, 23:20

I wrote this to Jay-Zs Lyrical Exercise, a great instrumental. (i say i bit this cuz theres a line in Jay-Zs Where I'm From that talks about wearing your vest yesterday)


Im an MC, that raps thru clenched teeth, no biting but if I did, I’d do it like this,
i wanna know where people have yet to say, “he held his chest in pain”,
and meant his veins, were clogged during his heart attack that wrecked the frame/
of his eighteen year old figure –no in fact it’s the extra strain,
added by the barrage of bullets piercing flesh away,
“but I had just seen him invest his pay, check to pay, for a vest to save, his solerplex from strays, yesterday!” /
well he’s dead with no vest displayed, ask “did he lose it?” and the answer is always “yes, today…” / haha expand on it, its all eyes on me – and I aint gotta throw sand on em, fuck that white coke , id rather be bagged chronic/
more time to burn, get yo head higher than phiser could, the wiser would, then say, this may , lift strain, from the wrists raised/
up to heavens to say on this day!/ I pray to get paid! like the corrupt church I want the god to get paid a fixed rate/
for our atonement – now aint that a moment, I gotta savor – keep it on the paper, nikil – don’t leave ur mind waiting on the waitor/
the conscieousness – can the audience/ keep up? Well fuck it keep runnin, we on the fringe,
so don’t see saw this shit, this is a lyrical coughing fit, I jus killed this shit, see if you can find a hell fire while people mosh in pits, im drop the world on em see if this coffin fits/ what? U mad cuz u aint dropping shit?/okay fair enuff then ill teach u..


First things first – breathe easy/ till yours ears reel and feel eerie, get hazed till you see clearly/
Second comes second with only a second to split a decision/ in a battle it can have atom bomb consequences, especially when you attack with only what God defends with/
Third comes third if you’ve made it this far/ take another deep breathe and think of being an army rectruit who became the discharged, gay soldier – so make sure you got square shoulders!/ any hunch will give your opponent a hunch, so tell em it IS the drugs, cuz I swear to god I would never swear sober!/


just sounds like another reason why chemically altering the human mind/
initially leads to the haltering of suicide, but later just encourages them to try even harder to do it right/
a procrastinator’s final vindication – like a hung jury tryna find a litigation/ precedent, that sets evidence, against the argument that world only ACTS like its filled with racists/




I think i'm done, idk if i should expand on anything - so give feedback. please :smoking:
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Re: Lyrical Exercise

Postby Fa-Q » Apr 17th, '10, 14:48

Dang, love this...ya got multis along with internal rhymes...each line is stacked...only thing is, it was kind of hard to read because of the lines...don't worry about the (/'s) just do commas and make the lines allign better...is what I would suggest, good drop and you need to drop moré
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