The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Steve Spag » Jul 27th, '10, 17:28

Sexxxxxxxyyyyyyyy.
Lyrical sex right there, that's what that is!
Former Rap God
Image
Image
User avatar
Steve Spag
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3055
Joined: Jul 14th, '06, 21:08
Location: Top Secret.
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Jay-19 » Jul 27th, '10, 18:06

I totally agree with Spag right there... lyrical sex.

And crammin' as many rhymes as possible, I see that. :y:

the sun will rise, cause we're all for the same funds...
we offer the same coffers, and march to the same drums


Really love that line man! :b:
Image
Kickin' Incredibly Dope Shit
User avatar
Jay-19
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 5708
Joined: Jun 17th, '05, 00:00
Location: Sweeden
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Yah-hah » Jul 28th, '10, 00:15

Yeah the line that J pointed out was dope. i really dig it man the multis were crisp and dope. I enjoyed the hook as well. It's catchy lol Yeah man everything was good man vocab rhymes all that man. Full Marks from me Maybe. Me and Class got a new joint comin out soon be sure to check it out man :y:
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Flamez » Jul 28th, '10, 03:35

damn in only 15 minutes that was fuckin' dope bro..
Image
User avatar
Flamez
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 5673
Joined: Sep 6th, '06, 15:55
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby gutawafang » Jul 30th, '10, 09:47

Nice structure and how you put words together man.

The "dots" do help in the flow of this. :y:

Nice hook too man. although sinner and hidden is not a multi. hahahaha

There is humor in this too, which is good. It attracts listeners man. Nice lyrics. :y:
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby mcZu » Aug 1st, '10, 23:44

I prefer the second verse over the first one. Because the way you portray and convey what you wanted to say is more vivid, to me, in that verse. The hook displays a confused artist, which suits both verses. I like how you changed from general to personal after the hook.

Overall I think it's a strong piece of text, and it would be even stronger if recorded.
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Solace » Aug 3rd, '10, 05:44

That was pretty dope, 2nd verse takes the win easily. Good flow, I could imagine it as an audio piece. Solid drop nothing to complain about.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Peace_Maker » Aug 4th, '10, 00:01

The imagery was trippy and beautiful. It was heavy in rhymes but still very poetic. Smooth flow. I liked it alot. Elevate.
Your brain is child's play to manipulate.
XRay's Album Cover
Peace_Maker
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 195
Joined: Aug 3rd, '10, 23:34
Location: BAWSE, USA
Gender: Male

Re: Waltz A Minute (Inspired by Jay-19) - (full song)

Postby Ka0t1c » Aug 8th, '10, 08:02

pretty sick man :y: :y:
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
User avatar
Ka0t1c
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3919
Joined: Nov 16th, '05, 08:28
Location: Hell, Room #5150
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users