Fa-Q - The Temple Of Nyx

[Fa-Q]

Well, I understand the flow and structure may be off but this piece was very hard to write and frankly Im just glad this poison's outta my nut

I’ve seen, temples with white and grey pillars, but the latter pillars,
Give me the creepy crawlers, each arm I feel a thousand caterpillars,
They had their killers, kill, they are all just seem like sadder fillers,
On this temple to Nyx, on the painted walls there’s some dried mud,
And it’s simple to fix, they have no mortar so they just applied blood,
An evil tyrant, with his whip, would gladly take two dimples to bricks,
I see stones cut perfect, precision, within such beautiful architecture,
And even the hieroglyphs, as they lie in dust for ages, bark a lecture,
Slavery to build a notorious tomb, this must be just a sport of blood,
Once the man died, his family, with him to see if he can support the mud,
Slaves all their lives, it’s like they’re different breeds dogs on Noah’s ark,
For they know naught, they way to say no, but all they know is bark,
They’re stoic as they build, but inside minds of slaves, raging warzones,
The children are raised, watched star gazed, Egypt is aging more clones,
Each baby examined for excellence, if not perfect, they used aborticide,
Leaders have more than pride, but each of the mothers are mortified,

Human humility is evident, but our precision is a lyrical intercourse,
How come it’s freezing in the tomb? It’s the spiritual winter forced,
The wood from remote Asia, good luck finding the splinter’s source,
If you’re a demon screamin, I’m in need of more than this exorcism,
Hieroglyphs looking less messages, and more like a dyslexic prism,
The bricks of straw, their precious mortar is only softened up mud,
The slave masters promises of tomorrow, assurance tricks the law,
Slaves wonder when shifts end, it’s when they’re coughing up blood,
The stones on the backs of slaves, you can hear each bone rupture,
All in the Pharaoh’s name, they build the tomb, the stone structure,
Their fingers brittle, stingers little, its like each of their hand bones,
Are perfectly aligned, to work solely on the Pharaohs sand stones,
How can they escape their neighborhoods, the king’s planned homes,
Like wheat grown, the hair on their heads, I hear as each strand groans,
And all this in the hope that there may somehow be better tomorrow,
A page in the journal of the slaves, each only writes a letter of sorrow,


What do they paint on these walls, they paint heads of the jackals,
They have blood blisters from the pinch, of the lead of the shackles,
They paint the feather bending Horus, singing a never ending chorus,
And those very same chorus lyrics, are Horus’ spirits crushed today,
Thought to be forever hidden, now the aging sand is brushed away,
The tomb of Nyx is revealed, door snapped like the sticks in the field,
These explorers traverse Nyx’s tomb, holding the red wax of candles,
It drips down these such red candles, and hits the backs of sandals,
They’re following the fingerprints, footprints, and the acts of vandals,
The ax of vandals, it turns on them, now it’s the attacks of handles,
These explorers search with fire torches, searchin’ the round corners,
And every time they would round corners, they found mourners,
There is dust in the sarcophagus, the watching stars cough at this,
It mimics chalk dust, the explorers brushes the top to knock rust,
Of the gold plated on surface, he knows the old made it on purpose,
He’ll discover the temple of Nyx, but possession, isn’t simple to fix,

[Fa-Q]

Oh you must want to get banned

[Weather Man]

Really good Fa-Q this was nice

[Fa-Q]

Thanks Weather Man

[Fa-Q]

Bump and run coverage

[Fa-Q]

If you truly think that, then why would you comment...jealousy I believe

[Fa-Q]

You never say why anyone is bad...therefore you have no validity

[Fa-Q]

I decided that I would take everything you criticized me for and compare them to a piece of yours. Since you advertise your pieces like a pop I decided I would go to the one in your signature. Everything you criticized my piece for you did not have. Furthermore, I am convinced you have no idea what a rhyme scheme or multi is. I incorporate five-six syllable multis in my pieces and have complex rhyming schemes with both interals and end of the line multis. I also span multis across lines. I have yet to see you have a multi with more than three syllable that makes sense. You're a joke on this site, bra.

[Fa-Q]

Your piece sounds like Homer Simpson trying to be Socrates.

[Fa-Q]

do you realize how foolish you sound? your blind and ignorant hate is comical. People study my work in order to learn how to write better. you should take heed to their path and follow it. I don't even know you, so I'm not hating, but you're terrible. It's no ones fault but your own.




Lol.

People study you? The fuck are you the first monkey in space or something....dude, people click on your pieces, give it ne look, then hit the bac button

[Fa-Q]

Lets doa side by side compare if you are so confident. I picke three random lines from my piece and found the nearest piece by you

They paint the feather bending Horus, singing a never ending chorus,
And those very same chorus lyrics, are Horus’ spirits crushed today,
Thought to be forever hidden, now the aging sand is brushed away,


scooping up the night sky, drop it at their feet
they will never know what hit them you can stop it when it leaks"
and their peak will be the same but they will drown in it for weeks


Mine has 1) 6 syllale rhyming multis 2) A complex rhyming scheme that is A-A same line, A-B next line, B final line

Yours has a simple rhyme scheme, simple vocabulary, and you rhyme Drop, feet; stop, leaks....you break the "s" rule of rhyming and "at their" and "when it" do not even remotely rhyme....piece of miniscule shit

[Fa-Q]

do different lines, using the same two songs and compare like i did

[Fa-Q]

Dr. Suess hs more complexity....and you backed down from my challenge...that means I win

[Fa-Q]

You cant troll n your own thread....and you backed down

[Fa-Q]

I accept...set it up