A Personal Solace Chapter 1: "To A Long Lost Friend"

[Solace]

It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.

- Chaos Theory

-------When I was younger I had a tendency to pay too much attention to the minuscule things surrounding my everyday life. As I grew older, some people suggested such observance was unusual, and so I stopped. Now that I've stopped paying attention to a certain extent, I jumped straight out of the window they refer to as "Opportunity" and fell flat on my ass. For every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. I learned that the hard way.
-------Sometimes I'm sorry for no reason. Most of the time I deserve to be sorry. I apologize for leaving your life. I apologize for entering it in the first place. I don't know what I did wrong. It never seems that I do which brings me to a definite devastation. It's hard to make friends, it's easy to lose them.To one important friend that I've lost, I simply want to apologize. Apologize for every little thing I've done, and be satisfied knowing that I at least tried. Here is what I have to say:
-------I never wanted you to know how much I valued you. My feelings were buried in a chamber located at rock bottom of my heart. Even to me, my emotions are riddles which have yet to be solved. I think acting cold was my implied way to say, "Yeah, I understand that I don't matter much to you, so you don't matter much to me either." as though my relationship with you was some sort of bilateral deal. It's stupid now that I think of it. My heart beat was racing. And then it completely stopped.
-------Every goddamn day I have to walk by your house, twice. Once to get to school, once to get home. I glare at the entrance as I walk, hoping you might just walk out of the front door and see me and put the pieces of our broken friendship back together. It hasn't happened, and it's never going to, I've realized. I'm not one to believe in miracles.
-------I dreamed about you last night. I've had that dream replaying in my head the entire day. The moment I woke up, I was so happy. Then I realized it was all in my head, and in a few seconds my day was ruined. In my dreams, all that is broken is easily fixed. I saw you today too, for the first time in a week. You were walking home. I was walking home, only a bit behind you. I was going to talk to you, but I didn't. Confrontation was never my thing. Now...One half of me hates you. The other half wants to abacinate the other half for pretending to hate you.
-------Hours were wasted thinking about you. Hours were wasted writing about you. Hours were wasted hanging out with you, having every millisecond savored. Hours were wasted helping you solve your problems; even when I was busy. Sometimes I feel that if you knew how much power you held over me, you would abuse it...But you're not even that kind of person. Paranoia, aside from myself, is my worst enemy. Believe me, you meant, and still do, mean a lot to me. Too bad I don't mean anything to you anymore. I'm at the point where I finally realize that for every problem, there's not always a solution.
-------I miss you. I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen. Goodbye friend.

Link to feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=99661

[DƎRDYPK]

Wow
this was very deep & mysterious
I can feel it Solace

really good stuff

[Solace]

Really? Well I'm really glad you like it. Thanks Mike, always appreciated.

[DƎRDYPK]

Really?

yeah
reading this really made me think
my favorite little slice was

I dreamed about you last night. I've had that dream replaying in my head the entire day. The moment I woke up, I was so happy. Then I realized it was all in my head, and in a few seconds my day was ruined. In my dreams, all that is broken is easily fixed.

[Solace]

Haha alright, thanks! But yeah having that dream sucked.

[DƎRDYPK]

Haha alright, thanks! But yeah having that dream sucked.

haha yeah
some dreams will haunt you for life

[gutawafang]

Wow. I think I got a tear in my eye.

[Solace]

Haha alright, thanks! But yeah having that dream sucked.

haha yeah
some dreams will haunt you for life

Say word.

Wow. I think I got a tear in my eye.

Thank you for reading.

[DƎRDYPK]

Haha alright, thanks! But yeah having that dream sucked.

haha yeah
some dreams will haunt you for life

Say word.

W0rd

[Solace]

Aight bump. I put a lot of work into this. It may not seem like it but it took a while to figure out what I wanted to say and how it should be delivered. :/

[Acula M.D.]

I think it's scary how much I can relate. We all have one of these people I think.

-------I dreamed about you last night. I've had that dream replaying in my head the entire day. The moment I woke up, I was so happy. Then I realized it was all in my head, and in a few seconds my day was ruined.

Been there. The emotion in this was great. From a writing aspect it still needs work but once that snaps into place your going to have enough ammunition to write forever. If I was you I would vary your sentence length a bit more. A short sentence gets straight to the point and keeps the reader on track. Keep it up man.

[Solace]

I think it's scary how much I can relate. We all have one of these people I think.

I agree.

-------I dreamed about you last night. I've had that dream replaying in my head the entire day. The moment I woke up, I was so happy. Then I realized it was all in my head, and in a few seconds my day was ruined.

Been there. The emotion in this was great. From a writing aspect it still needs work but once that snaps into place your going to have enough ammunition to write forever. If I was you I would vary your sentence length a bit more. A short sentence gets straight to the point and keeps the reader on track. Keep it up man.

True. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks again for some indepth feed.

[classthe_king]

I know you want me to read these and leave feed but I'm not the person to help with wording things and stuff like that. You know I think all this stuff you write is amazing and I completely relate to all of it. I agree, we all have someone like this in our lives.

[Solace]

I know you want me to read these and leave feed but I'm not the person to help with wording things and stuff like that.

I just care if you read it or not. You can tell me over MSN or something like "Yeah, I liked it". If you want then you can feel free to feed it but s'all good.

You know I think all this stuff you write is amazing and I completely relate to all of it. I agree, we all have someone like this in our lives.

You're too kind. And yeah. We do.

[beatsbyj]

oh wow that's some cray stuff there very deep, loved it