In the best hospital possible for emergency surgery
To try to stop the blood from your ruptured sternum internally
A highly combustible head, spazmatic
strapped to a Craftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of thai weed
Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like Siamese
twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Pins-and-needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I'm the ringing in your ears
I'm the polyps on the back of your tonsils
Eating your vocal chords after your concerts
It was predicted by a medic
I'd grow to be an addicted diabetic
Living off liquid Triaminic
Driving a rusty scalpel in through the top of your scalp
And pulling your Adam's apple out through your mouth
Intestinal blockage, the rest of you got lap bands
As I fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict trait
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to gravitate towards the bottle of NyQuil, then I salivate
Suddenly, he starts to convulse
And his pulse goes into hyperdrive and his eyes roll back in his skull
And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Dre, I'm down here, under the ground, dig me up
Broken tibias, fibias, yeah, fix me up
Sixty sluts, all of 'em dyin' from asphyxia
Twistin' necks of rappers till their spinal column disconnects
I jumped into a gun fight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue
I'll hang you till you dangle and chain you with both ankles
Fe fi fo fum, I think I smell the scent of a placenta
Dismember her limbs, simple as that, cadaver her
Shoot up the embryo sack with Mac 10s
Run in a ultrasound and snatch you out your mother's frame
You need to be immediately treated
While you're breathin' or you'll be leavin' the receivin room this evenin with Jesus
Wave 'em till you dislocate a rotator cuff
A braniac with a cranium packed with more uranium than a maniac Saudi Arabian
Last night I OD'd on rush, mushrooms, and dust
Got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed
Give me 11 Excedrin or my head'll spin
Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine
Scratched my balls til I shredded skin
"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"
"It's probably AIDS!" Forget it then
Or get shanked in the Pancreas
It'll only take me a second to choke his trachea
Wrap a lizard in gauze, beats you in the jaws with it
Grab the scissors and saws
Cut out your livers, gizzards, and balls
And finally, Eminem reflecting on when he was just a kid and hadn't yet gone through medical school:
I screamed, "ow, my appendix feels like they could burst!
Teacher, teacher, quick, I need a naked nurse!"
"What's the matter?"
"I don't know, my leg, it hurts!"
"Leg, I thought you said it was your tummy?"
"Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee."
)
