Becca. (I'm sick of this)

[chiasmus]

Never posted here before. Wrote this to the Airplanes Part 2 instrumental.

I'm sick of this, it's ridiculous, just sitting inside,
Flicking through online photographs, wondering why,
I never go to class, instead just spend all my time,
Thinking what it might have been like if Becca were mine,
I 've got a pessimist's mind, never impressed with the times,
I speak in jest but every second is depressing and why,
Do we pretend that everything's fine and just as we like,
Put up and a front and pretend life isn't fucking our minds?
Try to justify every single action we take, and that's a mistake,
When all we do is procrastinate, and masturbate,
In between checking that TR Shad-
y website to see if Mr.Mathers album has came,
And it's a shame, cos my parents raised me better than this,
But it's a bitch, trying to forget that Becca exists,
And it itches when you know the pain is self-inflicted,
You could change it but you play victim,
And it sits on your chest like a dead weight, waiting to shift,
But it won't, cos you've never been as lazy as this,
And it's crazy as shit, maybe you should blaze up a spliff,
Sit and just pretend that everything's amazing and bliss-
ful, but it isn't so you better make a fitting decision,
And stick with it, cos you've gotta live with it,
And it isn't gonna get rid of itself is it? so quit being
So selfish, you did this yourself, so you fix it.

[Fa-Q]

Pretty good....good drop, not bad structure...lyrics were a bit lacking and I think they could have been a bit more emotionally driven but meh...keep 'em coming I never see you drop

[chiasmus]

Thanks for a quick response. Well, I only really post in the Eminem section and I wanted to try something new. Even after just doing this, I can appreciate that it's hard for you guys to convey HOW you want something to be said when it's written down. Like, you get no real idea of accent or tempo, other than through line breaks and punctuation, but even then it's difficult.

And I agree with what you said. I didn't write overly complicated lyrics or imagery, just something simple and from my personal moment. I might try something else in a more conventional rap format, as it seems like a large percentage of the stuff here is either battle raps or verses from MCs.

*Goes to check out CW forum...

[gutawafang]

Flow can improve. Lyricism is good.