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I'm new

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I'm new

Postby Charles- » Jun 22nd, '10, 03:05

yo guys i'm kind of new at writting but i'd be glad if some of you give me some recommendation on my shit

Thanks

this guys been treating me like a mice, ain't been an armistice,
the cheese is big ¿why do i not slice?
yall talking bout reaching the sky stop that Star Trek,
i've taking my time just aircheck,
imma be hitting those #1 yall better countercheck,
pirate that been trying to crash your ship there better be no wreck,
your girlfriend most interesting girl that i just meet,
suck my dick write it down and repeat bitch ya better not be analphabet,
you bf been acting like a mime, if he get at me he should got something to claim,
they talking bout get that green i'm more like get that polychrome,
black, white, yellow fuck those bitches in my swimming pool like it's Rome.
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Re: I'm new

Postby gutawafang » Jun 22nd, '10, 03:10

due to slightly bad grammar, it don't make much sense. sounds pretty random, as if it don't have any concept.

Rhymes are good. Flow is totally missing. I don't understand the last line at all. LOL.
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Re: I'm new

Postby Charles- » Jun 22nd, '10, 03:14

yo man props on that feed aprecciate it, yeah this was fucking random i'll try to improve my skills in the next weeks
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Re: I'm new

Postby gutawafang » Jun 22nd, '10, 03:19

Charles- wrote:yo man props on that feed aprecciate it, yeah this was fucking random i'll try to improve my skills in the next weeks

yeah, work on multis. :)
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Re: I'm new

Postby Relapse.LP » Jun 22nd, '10, 03:52

:wub: :wub:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/

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Re: I'm new

Postby dR3 » Jun 22nd, '10, 04:20

Relapse.LP wrote::wub: :wub:

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
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^Thanks Maybe.
Spyder wrote:The silent king of spam.

Killa wrote:Me & dR3 represent the future bitch!!!

Killa wrote:dR3 stay winning...
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Re: I'm new

Postby Relapse.LP » Jun 22nd, '10, 06:09

dR.dR3 wrote:
Relapse.LP wrote::wub: :wub:

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

:laughing:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/

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Re: I'm new

Postby gutawafang » Jun 22nd, '10, 06:26

Relapse.LP wrote:
dR.dR3 wrote:
Relapse.LP wrote::wub: :wub:

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

:laughing:

Where you been homie!!!??? :o
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Re: I'm new

Postby Spyder » Jun 25th, '10, 03:49

Coleon your back :o
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Re: I'm new

Postby gutawafang » Jun 25th, '10, 03:52

Spyder wrote:Coleon your back :o

AND GONE AGAIN!!! :o
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Re: I'm new

Postby Spyder » Jun 25th, '10, 03:56

naw man he signed on today
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Re: I'm new

Postby gutawafang » Jun 25th, '10, 03:58

Spyder wrote:naw man he signed on today

Nice knowing that, I assume. :whistle:
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