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Is it too much??

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Is it too much??

Postby ChristinaE12 » Jul 23rd, '10, 00:03

I mean. Is there too much going on? I'm just wanting to know everyone's opinion and thoughts and all that on this. It's just something I wrote. Hey, I even get bored from time to time. And who don't have room for improvement. The last half of it, I pretty much threw together very quick. Why it is a lot more simple than the of the first half. I just wanna see what you all pick up on and catch and all that good shit in mainly the first part. Where is seems busy. I'll explain more on what I mean or want if needed later. Hell I may even go through and change something myself or fix it, and probably will at some point. Seeing how I'm the type who will always go through and try and change something. But for now..

And I will admit now. It's got a weird flow. So I tried typing it out below a little different to get it to come across the way I want it to. It may be just one of those things that needs to be heard. And most likely will. But whatever.

So.. Here ya go.




Like a cyclone rated C-five, thrown inside a corked, thick-carbonated-fuel-bottle,
I'll survive...A tycoon I strive to become soon,
a model a top my throne.. I'll reside adored and in-tune. Idiotic-Hatred-you'll-twaddle..
I thrive. For these 'Narcotic pain pill' -
bottles of these hydrocodones and Norco's that'll create the quick torque needed
to inflict trouble in-vain.
To drive Full Throttle...to compose these wicked-sick chaotic flows,
as I arrive in my zone, underrated and unknown.
'Til got you addicted, I won't stop spittin' this un-restricted psychotic shit, hoes.
You're afflicted and I'm the antibiotic, bitch. 'No love' is all I'll ever show.
Til I got your necks' being constricted in these clenched fists.
Wrenching and flexing my wrists is all it takes til it twists and breaks
Committin mistakes may just consist of you being found dead in a trench or a lake.

That's it as of this second. :shifty:
"If Life's a bitch and revenge is sweet... I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet."

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Re: Is it too much??

Postby tjb » Jul 23rd, '10, 01:42

umm.... not to much too say about this..

some weird shit.. couldnt catch a floww either idk
SUBSCRIBE : http://www.youtube.com/user/ResidentialNoise

the emcee is me, the host for the night
papa doc, only thing i dont choke on the mic - redman

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lets get this track to number 1!

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Re: Is it too much??

Postby Yah-hah » Jul 27th, '10, 11:46

Idk it had a wierd flow but I think I can get wat you were trying to do. I saw a multi or two I think if you can structure it better it'll be easier to read :y:
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"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
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