Autumn Falls

[Stubz]

Autumn Falls

You couldn't envision the countless incision
or what sparked the ignition, to be in this position
When suicide is ya inescapable decision
When the nights I cried made me capable of quitin'
Sorrow ridden, uncontrollably hidden
With a soul that's forbidden
Vertical slash marks across my wrists that's been slitten
Couldn't see the hurt that exists, except from what's written
Couldn't possibly feel the full mist in my rendition
When you and ya four closest boys gotta scatter across Brittan
Forgotten every possession, Filled with unwanted aggression
That Spilled into a manic depression
My flat robbed by a rock addict is what began the progression
Blade to my throat no less than a day to the previous oppression
Steel grazin my adams apple, wanted the coke, I just let em
Chose to be broke and just forget em
My dealer made me make the choice of coughing up or going to get em
So be in serious debt then... better than bein' chalked silhouettes of men
The morning after the last, saw my mournings amassed
Awoke by my door getting blast after blast
Thought it was a joke, but that soon surpassed
Feelings of hoax, quickly went to that of attack
No time to get coats, slickly slipped out the back
Had to move briskly, so left all our material lives intact
Try to think straight but the fearful drives distract
And now try to contemplate this was the start of these serial acts

Stowed away in a friends for the next fortnight and half
No abode in to stay transcends beyond distraught incite and wrath
began to unwrap the fact, this thought might last
and this night would path what future I would call my past
Finally understood my task, leaving everything behind me
Starting over then I crashed
Carryin the boulder in my dreams I never got older
They only showed ya, visions of ma blood being splashed
And how easy it could be for my shit to end with them being slashed
Moved outta ma town, removed from everything around
My thoughts were confound I was headed trouble bound
A girl from ma past picked me up, but I dreaded it would turn to rubble once found
Raised my hopes but they were shredded, and once again my life sank and began to be drowned
Fazed, even more so amazed thought it must be a prank
But the bitch left me alone, homeless miles from anywhere without a pound
Managed to retreat to my brothers
Waiting for the next feat to be discovered
Sat alone twenty-four-seven, and mentally suffered
Thinkin if any of my boys were back home, and if our anxiety's were covered

Drinkin, drownin my thickened sorrow
Wasn't accounting for what id be sickened by tomorrow
My cuz called me up, said he had enough
And that he was fuckin off to the south coast for good
Yeah the idea did have me engrossed, did wanna disappear
Silently sweeping like a ghost
But my mind would interfere violently speakin
This was ma first signs of a mental condition bein diagnosed
And from then started spittin lines
In my position either that or surgical incision
Know which I perferd the most
My cuz found out his travels had been fucked from the start
Faced three nights of battles, sleeping out in the November rain and dark,
Corners of bushes in the park
This kid was the only friend I had left, so imagine my breath
When my mobile rang and it was him talkin bout death
Told him to think for a while and stop walkin instead
I sat on the end of that phone and just wept
Practically my brother, my best friend, the edge he'd attend
I thought I knew what would impend, thank fuck that act he'd suspend
Only for the next day to be apprehend, and have to defend his offend
And still look like he'd be took away in the end
Ma Chest began to kill, and on me my first panic attack would descend
August to November that's all ive covered
My shit? I knew for a fact would never end

[gutawafang]

You're a bot.

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Used to be a member here.

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Desperate for attention in the internet.





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whatever man.

It's pretty good man. My cup of tea, actually. I like the vocabulary in this. If this is audio, it would fit my style man. Cool.