Finished 16 (Check it)

[classthe_king]

This was an 8 line verse I wrote awhile ago that I finished but I doubt anyone remembers it so I posted the whole thing.

(Sentus)
They say that a picture says a thousand words
But a song paints a thousand pics as a sound is heard
When I found the courage to lift the mic and speak
It gives the fight in me a way to vent inside the beat
And just when I think I may have to leave the game
I have the sudden realization that I need the pain
It’s the recipe designed to bring out the best in me
I put my whole fuckin life on stage for the rest to see
So I seize the beat and spit it out like a piece of meat
It's a feast to eat, on every track I am releasin heat
I'm easily the best to spit so don't start with the crap
At the start of impact my pen grows art with a pad
Mozart with the rap and I will die through the beats
It rides through my speech like the tide through a beach
In my eyes you will see its raging through my glands
The music is a part of me and it's made me who I am

[Solace]

That was pretty good. Better than the Pyromaniacs verse too. Good stuff. And I remember the 8 line verse.

[Fa-Q]

brilliant flow...great drop

[classthe_king]

I'm going to try to be constructive here. A lot of what you're saying has been said before. Not literally the way you're saying it, but in general. "I'm the best, my flow is comparible to this (enter similie here)" compare self to a legend of music, etc. I'm not saying write how I do, but you need to get away from writing how EVERYONE ELSE does. The best advice I, or anyone really, can give you, is to write from your heart. You don't TRUELY believe you're the best. You're just saying it to rhyme it with something.

Second, you're caught up in this ab ab ab rhyme scheme. IE: blah blah multie blah blah multie / blah blah multie blah blah multie.

I was also caught in this for the longest time but people brought it to my attention -much like i'm doing here- that it's boring and stale and gets very old after a while. Try to switch it up a bit, be creative. You don't have to ONLY rhyme on the snares.

Thanks for the feed...but this wasn't really a punchline piece at all. This was as much "from the heart" as you're goona get from me at this point.

And just when I think I may have to leave the game
I have the sudden realization that I need the pain
It’s the recipe designed to bring out the best in me
I put my whole fuckin life on stage for the rest to see

In my eyes you will see its raging through my glands
The music is a part of me and it's made me who I am

I thought that was from the heart. I used to write really, really personal stuff but I don't want to get into that anymore.

And about the rhyme scheme, I don't really know any other rhyme scheme to do. I've read your stuff and I don't really the switching up the multis and using them at weird spots. I like a nice consistent scheme.

[Element.]

Good verse and flow man

[FAME]

Nice I'm in a bit of a rough creative wise right now trying to read some pieces to inspire me about writing music soon. The mulits were just sick though, I've fallen out of writing multis, for some reason I can't think of them anymore. But it looks like it comes so easy to you and the rest of the CW people. I don't mind the rhyme scheme it keeps it simple for a written piece and it flows so perfect!

[classthe_king]

Thanks guys

[Robbie G]

That was real nice. It flowed well and a few of the lines I had to read again carefully to fully understand them.

[classthe_king]

Thanks man