The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby J Roc » Jan 3rd, '10, 02:22

Yah Hah wrote:I got 99 problems but I'm startin on one,
These boys buckin on me and I done lost my gun,
I got a weak heart so I stopped meesin with these "rucas",
My brother gettin shipped off he tryin to be a trooper,
Walkin these halls slow, people callin me a loser,
And my girl is sorta trippin sayin I'm the one who confused her,
Who you sir? It's like no one knows my name,
I'm sitting her screamin all these multis so in vain,
My computer isn't workin it's runnin so slow,
I want writer's block to leave but it won't go,
But it's seems like my dad has mastered that skill,
Trying to make things better, get plastered? yeah that will,
I'm throwin up from my New years party,
I keep miswriting these checks cause this new years starting,
Who here's starving I need something to eat,
But the car's broke down so it's back to running for me,
I'm not running the streets, I stay back in the house,
Like no one even knows what I'm rappin about,
N one told a joke so wat so wat am I laughin about,
I'm writing a song at 3 am in the morning,
I'm not shady and my baby is not such a sure thing,
I'm late to work and my boss is bitchin,
My brothers out of money and my mom is trippin,
I try to grip this gun but from my palm is slippin,
I'm on TR writing but my songs are missin,


It's verse 2 and I'm only on 25,
At Dennys I wanted my eggs scrambled but I still got sunnyside,
And now someone is gonna talk bout my structure,
I'm tired of hatin my bro showin love to that fucker,
I'm tired of this homework sittin like fuck college,
But now I have to bust my ass just so I don't flunk college,
What knowledge? I go to a community school,
I live in Fuckin Kansas I'm just a soon to be fool,
My girl is a rider but now the homies all trip,
Like you aint got time for us but you ride with ya chick,
I lying bold-faced, look in my eyes and tell,
Someone talked bout my woman so another night in jail,
It's my first year in college and I'm already in debt,
It's no longer football season it's like I already left,
My two homies are beefing askin wat I say about it,
I wish that they would squash it but damn I highly doubt it,
Ms. Lunaverse is on the site known her since we were kids,
Only done two songs and we already dissed,
Dealin with some ignorant shit from xrays ass,
Like 'have you read my verses? I'm like yes they trash,
And I'm prolly catchin shit from putting that in,
But it's one of the problems that I just might win,
I'm tryin to make money but these bill they catch me,
The only time I see good, is when I'm resting,
I got so many problems that they're blockin the view,
But I'ma step aside and let J Roc spit a few.



J roc wrote:All These Problem's add up ... First of all how the fuck am i gonna follow THAT up ^?
Plus i meant a pen & paper whenever i 'Draw' a Hand gun
i'm dazed alot & Everyday it's new Chronic, Hash Blunt's
So im Torn-Between These Forum-Beef's & my Want to Have Fun
Something That Roc Knew.. Is My Dad's Going Through Law Suit's
And I don't even know the reason as to why i'm beefing with Fa Q
it's Past Summer Time.. That's When My Grand Mother Died (R.I.P)
So i Plan, Otherwise i'll have to sleep in the Back Of My Ride
Everytime that i Spit Light It's Similar To a Bitch Fight
And i'm scared of Kidnapper's Everytime that i Hitch hike (Yeaa)
All these Annoying-Clowns Pointing-out Everytime that i Mistyped
His Life? Similar To a Empty Room With a Dimlight
A Dim-Chance With Ying-Yangs Just Tryina To Spit White
Thanks to Drug's Like Spliffs (Weed) The School I Go To, is Somewhat iffy
i Can't concentrate So Half My Courses Are Under 50
Bumping Biggie Cuz i ain't the type of Dude That Could Run the City
Sorry i wrote that ^ .. i think i'm 'bi-polar' And i'm Cold As a Snow Man
And i only Squint My Eyes Cuz i Need to Wear The Glasses i Don't Have
Fuck-Recordin My Love Lifes On a Bungie-Cord-And the Rope Snapped
My Heart's in Broken Bits .. Susan Broke My Heart & i'm still not over it
My Life's a Open Book That nobody want's to read When i Open It
So Im Closing it .. These Wall's Are Closing In ..in This Home i'm in
Pills..............
I Might OD Now Bitch....Do it Less? I'll just find a Smoke Weed Balance
And i steal From the Bargain Shop ... i Hope He Count's It
Im a loser And Writing These bar's Is One Of My Only Talent's


VERSE 2
My Weight Is Down People Say i Should Gain Some Pounds
Susan Said She Loved Me .. Right now She's Making Out
Look-Alive Or u Won't-Survive Cuz your fate is NOW
I'm known to get burnt... High As Fuck Then Stolen a Purse
I Could Write a Book Like Yah Hah ..Too Bad i don't Know Many Words
& i can't constantly Write Nice So This is a Throw Away Verse
I only sleep on ur verses .. Cuz im Awake Every night
And i Got Kicked Out Of Kung Fu For Taping A Fight
That's Basically Why .. but i Could Relate To The Guy
The Teacher Was Either Asian Or White mixed With The Haziest Eyes
Or Maybe He's High I Can't fathom every Race He's Alligned
I Ain't Even Got the "Key" to my heart .. i Gotta Go To a LockSmith
That's Only An Option I'm tryina save up my Dough For a "Profit" Like Joseph, Mohammad
But All This Drug Money Is Burning a Hole In My Pocket
Fuck it i guess ROC'S DELUDED i should stick to making PROPER MUSIC
And Stop Bitching Cause We All got PROBLEMS, STUPID!
but Most-Recent? i got killed on my Own-E-Shit & Yah Hah Got PROSECUTED!


Whut Happen's When 2 Heavyweight's Collllide .......... My Second Verse Was garbage LOL

But That's Where Jay Z Fucked Up .. Not Listing off 99 Problems ahaha
Last edited by J Roc on Sep 25th, '10, 21:32, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
J Roc
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1317
Joined: May 6th, '07, 21:44
Location: Canada
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby BILI » Jan 3rd, '10, 02:28

Damn that was dope,one hell of a collab,yah had dope shit in it,had the concept and shit,nice :y: ,and Roc`s verses were dope 2,I dont think that 2nd was garbage,it aint better then 1st,but still good :y:
Last edited by BILI on Jan 3rd, '10, 03:04, edited 2 times in total.
Image
User avatar
BILI
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9998
Joined: Mar 26th, '09, 16:05
Location: Croatia
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby J Roc » Jan 3rd, '10, 03:02

Billli & Cole .. Props For Reading haha
User avatar
J Roc
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1317
Joined: May 6th, '07, 21:44
Location: Canada
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Yah-hah » Jan 3rd, '10, 04:27

Appreciate it homies. :y:
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Ms. Lunaverse » Jan 3rd, '10, 11:21

Wow Roc is kinda beastly. Yah as always got crazy multis in every line lmao. But roc was really good to. It was actually a nice transition from yah style to roc style on some ying yang shit. Good collab yall
Image
"The moon, consumed in my view,
The truth? resumed in my doom when I inhaled too soon"
- Ms. Lunaverse (Gravedancers)
User avatar
Ms. Lunaverse
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Dec 30th, '09, 10:01

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Yah-hah » Jan 3rd, '10, 11:54

Thanks ma
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Yah-hah » Sep 25th, '10, 15:24

Old school bump :smoking:
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby J Roc » Sep 25th, '10, 16:42

The Peoples Champion Was Stilll Electrifying 9 Months Ago :staticsmoking:


Thats Our New Year Present For yaaalllll Wonder Whut Ya'll Will Get in 3 Months haha.
User avatar
J Roc
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1317
Joined: May 6th, '07, 21:44
Location: Canada
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby J Roc » Sep 25th, '10, 21:27

i edited the end of my verse ... felt so wrong to change a classic but it had ta be done lol
User avatar
J Roc
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1317
Joined: May 6th, '07, 21:44
Location: Canada
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Doctor Skittlez » Sep 25th, '10, 22:01

Okay, First Of All, I Don't Want It To Seem Like I'm Hating...

But, C'mon... Let's Do A Break-Down Of Good Emcee Skills.

Yah Hah:
1. Flow -- You Had It, But It Wasn't Strong, N' Wasn't Unique. Try Rhyming Your Verses Over A Beat After You Write It, N' If It Doesn't Flow Right, Cut Some Words, Or Add To Some Lines.
2. Multies -- Around The Halfway Point Of Your First Verse Was When The Real Multies Starte. I Say "Real", Because You'd Mentioned Earlier In The Verse That You Were Using Good Multies, When You Weren't Using Any... Multies Are Multi-Syllabic Rhymes Where More Than One Syllable Or Word Rhymes.
3. Imagery -- There Was None...
4. Vocab -- ^^^ Good Vocab Helps A Lot With Imagery. In These Verses, You're Vocab Was Very Elementary, N' It Sounds Like You've Got The IQ Of Someone In Grade Nine... Sorry, No Hate, But You Need To Up Your Vocab.

J Roc:
1. Flow -- Definitely Liking The Flow Of Your Verses. It's Got An Infinite-Era Eminem Style To It, Makes It Sound Fresh Compared To A Lot Of The Other Flows Out There. One Thing I Did Notice, Was That On Some Of The Lines, The Wording Was A Little Tangled, Casuing The Flow To Go A Bit Off.
2. Multies -- Damn, Some Nice Ones Here. However, Some Of Them Are A Little Too Simple. To Have Multies Like "follow THAT up" N' "'Draw' a Hand gun" N' Then Also Have Multies Like "Roc Knew" N' "Law Suit's" Is Basically Undermining Your Own Talents. Because With The First Ones, You Demonstrate That You Can Actually Pull Off Decent Multies. But Then You Simplify Some Of The Other Multies, N' It's Kind Of Like You're Devaluing Your Own Rhymes.
3. Imagery -- Some Of Your Lines Had Good Imagery, Some Didn't. I Think You Know What Good Imagery looks Like, But You Were Probably Just Lazy Or Something.
4. Vocab -- You Had Some Trouble Here. While Some Of The Wording N' Vocab Looked All Right, Other Parts Were Too Simple. It's Kind Of Like The Multie Thing Again... Except You Were Better With Multies Than You Are With Vocab.
I Also Noticed That You Use Some Decent Wordplay. Not Great, ut Decent.

Overall, This Was An All Right Song, But To Cal It A Classic.... Meh, Bit Of A Stretch, Sorry.
User avatar
Doctor Skittlez
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Feb 24th, '10, 08:26

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Yah-hah » Sep 25th, '10, 22:13

:laughing: Have you seen anything else I've done??? Me and Roc were chillin one day and wrote this, this isn't by far a great display of our skills but I guess thanks for the critisism :y:
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby Solace » Sep 26th, '10, 05:52

Haha...This is still fresh as fuck for what it is..Excellent work both of you. Good to have these play around pieces once in a while, 'cept this is all Roc does but still lol.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: J Roc & Yah Hah ... 99 Problems .. (HOTASFUCK)

Postby J Roc » Sep 26th, '10, 06:11

@ doctor Skitzz

Multies ... I was tryin on those, but never felt the need to use big ones throughout
Wordplays / punchlines .... wasn't trying at all with these. if i was this drop woulda been 6 feet under lol
Vocab ... "I Could Write a Book Like Yah Hah ..Too Bad i don't Know Many Words" .. should explain it lol
Flow .... I liked the flow on hurrr to be honest , was wayy different than my normal one
IMagery .... i don even know whut that is. im not a topical kinda guy


Word tho thanks for the feed ... you to solly
User avatar
J Roc
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1317
Joined: May 6th, '07, 21:44
Location: Canada
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron