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An Odyssey

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An Odyssey

Postby Stavros » Oct 17th, '10, 20:12

10 Minutes

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=100114

Base jump into the Spartan Pit and breach Tartaurus
Cross the fire lake in haste, my skins charred to crisp
Cock my fist, part the riffs, revealing lake floor
And walk across scorched dirt to the gate's door
Wraiths soar outta the key hole as the key is placed
The Eye Of Horus is the peep hole, it reads my face
A creek and shake, the stone wall is lifted
And down a black corridor I saw the wicked
Feast at hand, occurring between beast and man
Lost souls from the cross roads, and demons stand
A cleaver's brand-ished by the man in the hooded robe
He turns to me and with one finger points into the stove
He bellows "By God's hand you have been left here
He's lost faith in humanity and their deaf ears
You didn't sneak in, we gave you some help
And God sent you as a sacrifice to Satan Himself"
Last edited by Stavros on Oct 17th, '10, 21:02, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby classthe_king » Oct 17th, '10, 20:29

There's no way you wrote this in ten minutes
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Stavros » Oct 17th, '10, 20:55

classthe_king wrote:There's no way you wrote this in ten minutes

I already had the first two lines, and the next two end rhymes. That's all.
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby classthe_king » Oct 17th, '10, 21:08

That's good as fuck
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Stavros » Oct 17th, '10, 21:16

Thanks :y:
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Solace » Oct 17th, '10, 21:51

Really liked it man :y:
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Stavros » Oct 17th, '10, 22:32

Thanks :y:
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Xray » Oct 19th, '10, 02:57

One thing I like about your pieces is your references. It's good to read.
Your structure is nice and all, but I feel you can do better flows.
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone

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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Stavros » Oct 19th, '10, 03:05

Xray wrote:One thing I like about your pieces is your references. It's good to read.
Your structure is nice and all, but I feel you can do better flows.


Haha I was waiting for it. The flow on this is horrid.
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Fa-Q » Oct 21st, '10, 23:58

damn, finally another good writer to spark Creative Writing...good shit, love the multis while still maintaining great structure...great drop
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Solace » Oct 22nd, '10, 02:49

Fa-Q wrote:damn, finally another good writer to spark Creative Writing...good shit, love the multis while still maintaining great structure...great drop

You realize it was Coleon?
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Fa-Q » Oct 22nd, '10, 04:01

Solace wrote:
Fa-Q wrote:damn, finally another good writer to spark Creative Writing...good shit, love the multis while still maintaining great structure...great drop

You realize it was Coleon?

How do you know?
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby classthe_king » Oct 22nd, '10, 04:52

Fa-Q wrote:
Solace wrote:
Fa-Q wrote:damn, finally another good writer to spark Creative Writing...good shit, love the multis while still maintaining great structure...great drop

You realize it was Coleon?

How do you know?


:laughing:
How do you not know?
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: An Odyssey

Postby Solace » Oct 22nd, '10, 12:43

Fa-Q wrote:
Solace wrote:
Fa-Q wrote:damn, finally another good writer to spark Creative Writing...good shit, love the multis while still maintaining great structure...great drop

You realize it was Coleon?

How do you know?

Not sure if serious... :unsure:
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