My Pen Your Paper

[Just Silver]

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I've came here draped in my game gear
I'm not talking Sega i got shit not made here
And since i'm not made here i don't need fake cheers
I need the realism thats what stays clear
Like visine from what i've seen through artists
But I'd dream about targets to reach my market
But it's just starting sort of retarded
Maybe beg my pardon but real isn't hate
Criticism and faith, the truth is all that it takes
No leaving like im shooting at rakes
Im in the booth baked mixing smooth tapes
And since your fake leave the comment you made
Cause honestly sayin your just probably gay
Had no intentions of Bugattis and 8's
Just wanna be me my way is all day

[ilovebender.com]

You want the truth?

Here's the truth.

I understood every part of that apart from visine and shooting at rakes.

Was alright though, seemed self critical but, if that's the vibe you was writing on, that's the vibe you was writing on, who am to question your own creation on subject matter, it was alright still.

[Just Silver]

You want the truth?

Here's the truth.

I understood every part of that apart from visine and shooting at rakes.

Was alright though, seemed self critical but, if that's the vibe you was writing on, that's the vibe you was writing on, who am to question your own creation on subject matter, it was alright still.

Great Feedback
and shooting at rakes was put because i wasn't "leave"ing lol that was an on the spot punch

[ilovebender.com]

You want the truth?

Here's the truth.

I understood every part of that apart from visine and shooting at rakes.

Was alright though, seemed self critical but, if that's the vibe you was writing on, that's the vibe you was writing on, who am to question your own creation on subject matter, it was alright still.

Great Feedback
and shooting at rakes was put because i wasn't "leave"ing lol that was an on the spot punch

Nah, I got the Leaf thing Leaving metaphore for real, which acually allowed to picture an actual rake, instead of some slang thing like mobster racket, so yea, I got your leaf-leaving thing, but... rakes... shooting at them? lol, I dunno dude, it's your song, great job and all that, but, I just picture rakes being hard targets to shoot at in your song, for some reason lol.

[Just Silver]

^^^ LMAO thank you for being honest... honestly

[classthe_king]

You've been writing for a long time and lately I haven't noticed any improvement in forever tbh. Try experementing with some wordplay, some longer multis or some more complex multis. Right now you're basic and boring, that's why no one feeds you tbh, maybe try out some concept songs.

[Just Silver]

You've been writing for a long time and lately I haven't noticed any improvement in forever tbh. Try experementing with some wordplay, some longer multis or some more complex multis. Right now you're basic and boring, that's why no one feeds you tbh, maybe try out some concept songs.

i just wanted to work on flow for the past few months and see how it was perceived.
I love writing without worrying when im squeezing a multi in or wordplay

[classthe_king]

Yeah man, the most important thing is enjoying what you're writing

I guess I was just giving that feed as my perspective as a writer and everyone has different priorities