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Days With Me

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Days With Me

Postby mcZu » Oct 30th, '10, 00:16

Link of feedback

Wrote this to Joe Budden - Walk With Me

(Hook)
Relationship down in the dirt, days astray
Flame of love aint burning no more, we're left with an ashtray

(Bridge)
I appear, disappear, now you’re confused like I dissed a peer
Reappear in the distance, now this is clear
Sheer pain, how much can I bear? Well, this here
Is the reason, I asked her to come back, told her I need it
But she hates comebacks even if I plead with
Even if I cry, asked why, is it my past crimes? Sad vibes
Fill up the room, I’m mad, might, grab sides
Probably both, and start to shake ‘cause she is telling lies
But if I do, she’ll only tell more lies, of course, like
‘He hit me, laid his hands on me, damn, he done me
Did me, like a real player’, but without the video, show me
How slowly you can picture this..

The picture is..

(Verse 1)
You hate her, she wants your kid, but see
The love is too passionate, you’ll never leave, no Kid Cudi
You get yourself to stay, feeling like shit, dusty
But then the thrill kicks in, feeling like Bun B
Finding out she’s cheating on you
The feeling is feeding on you, a weight is leaning on you
On top of it all, she’s blaming you for the treason on you
Like it’s nothing, no reason, just you
You should have been more caring, I’m starring
At her while she’s tearing, leaving nothing over
Starring at the face I used to be nutting over
Fucking cobra.. got me all tangled, black widow
Guess I’m really the one to blame, I wanted to bag a schizo
Back is broke, knife stuck in my vertebra
See, It never occurred to me how absurd the
Whole scene is, vision blurred, but, so, we old fast
If I didn’t feel empathy I'd swear I was a sociopath
Growing old, fact, just twenty but too wise
Chalk it up as an experience with a screwed life
She’s the one I used to cater to, but now the food’s nice
Mood dies, she only remembers to tell more shit
I need food for thought, memory feels malnourished..

(Chorus)
Relationship down in the dirt, days astray
Flame of love aint burning no more, we're left with an ashtray

(Bridge)
I’m sinking.. away, blinking, a day
..Passed, it was May, her birthday days away

(Verse 2)
Yes, her birthday days away, contemplating
If I should blaze a fifty, get a lil tipsy and attack her
But I’m not a con, damn.. waiting
Is killing me slowly, I know me, look an
Addict I am not, but I stay hooked to that hookah
Ironically, I used to be hooked to a hooker
Face looks a bit like a playground for contempt and disgust
When I see her I get this gut
Feeling of dissing this slut, but it’s not
On my level, so I shift my view to my wristwatch
Time to move one..
Last edited by mcZu on Oct 30th, '10, 16:39, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Days With Me

Postby classthe_king » Oct 30th, '10, 15:46

This was great zu :worship:
It was a very powerful piece, so many lines I was like damn.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: Days With Me

Postby mcZu » Oct 30th, '10, 16:15

Thanks, Class. Appreciate it, man.
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Re: Days With Me

Postby Xray » Oct 30th, '10, 16:22

Crazy fucking beat. Fuck I forgot about this beat o_o
It was a nice play on words while keeping on topic.
Except that first bridge is the longest bridge I've ever seen...
Didn't like your rhyming words. Just one question though...
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU WRITE THIS ON THAT BEAT?
It just doesn't belong imo lol. Flow is bad for this beat.
Text wise it was good, audio wise...uhhh...
I might use this beat now lmao. Sorry. :zipped:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


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Re: Days With Me

Postby mcZu » Oct 30th, '10, 16:39

Lol, nice catch. I posted the wrong beat. I put links in my documents and I guess I have used the wrong link, hahaha. I used the Nas beat to write a Dutch 32 bars...

The beat I used is Joe Budden - Walk With Me
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
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Re: Days With Me

Postby Xray » Oct 30th, '10, 16:53

I am a fucking genius!
Love you xray. :worship:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


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