Writer's Block - short verse

[Innovation]

I haven't wrote in quite some time.. mainly because of writer's block which inspired me to write this. Here's a four bars on something I've tried to construct. I couldn't write more tbh without it completely falling apart.

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=101614

Here it is.

I'm here trying to write a verse but instantly get hit with writer’s block,
I suddenly get hit with ideas, try to write it down, but nope it’s back and it’s got a tighter lock,
I’m constantly unable to find the key to get through this, thinking I might just stop,
But I’m determined not to let it get the best of me, this is something I’ll fight to atop,
I’m giving someone feedback and I start thinking it’s over, I’m back, let’s do this,
Open up a new document to write knowing I have the will and ideas to get through this,
I’m writing a verse and think it's coming together, but it again strikes, a relentless fighter,
The story of me trying to overcome this is suddenly getting slightly brighter.

Any criticism is appreciated.

I'll try to write some more soon as this didn't turn out to be what I thought, but it was decent enough for me to post.

Thanks.

[WakeUpShow]

good content, but i feel like the lines might drag on a bit too long, so that by the time you get to rhyming word you forget what it's supposed to rhyme with. you know what i mean?

[Innovation]

Yeah, thanks for the input! Appreciated!

[Innovation]

good content, but i feel like the lines might drag on a bit too long, so that by the time you get to rhyming word you forget what it's supposed to rhyme with. you know what i mean?

You have this problem too lol.

Also, I recommend you trying (maybe you did and I didn't catch it) to rhyme like this:

--------- rhyme 1
--------- rhyme 2
rhyme 3 --- rhyme a
------------- rhyme b
rhyme c ---

etc.

So that way it leads into the new rhyme, instead of a random line that doesn't really transition into the next one.

For example:

I’m constantly unable to find the key to get through this, thinking I might just stop,
But I’m determined not to let it get the best of me, this is something I’ll fight to atop,
Then I just dropped feedback and I start thinking it’s over, I’m back, let’s do this,

The underlined part is what I added to make it transition. It sounds better when the rhymes are all closer together, because it's like I'm reading it and I don't know what's supposed to rhyme.

Thanks for the input. I 100% understand what you mean and I'll try to incorporate it. This is my first verse for ages, I was focusing on end line multis which I managed.. barely.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

did find the rhyme a bit too scatered around

[Innovation]

Cheers. We still need to do that collab.