A day in the life of Emily

[iluveminem]

This is not me. My friend wrote this and she wanted me to post it.

7am : I wake up. The sun comes up another day begins and I’m not even worried about the state I’m in. I stare in the mirror and see a ugly fat bitch. I shed my first tear of the day. How did I get like this? Where did it all go wrong? I wish I was back in the womb. Not just any other room.



8am : Attempt to have breakfast. It goes wrong. I try to pour my Frosties into the bowl and they all fall on the floor. I feel like collapsing onto the ground. It’s too cold here. Humans are too cold. Too weak to sweep up the mess so I leave it for mother to sort out. She’s used to this sort of shit.

9am : Return back to bed and realize just how lonely I am. Want to turn on the tv to watch the early morning news but I can’t find the remote. Realize I can never find anything I want in life whether it’s the remote or happiness. Happiness is remote. Just like the hopes of surviving after death. Religion is a lie. Jesus is a fraud. We are all prisoners on the gloom train. The end can never be close enough.

10am : Try to fall back asleep but the silence is driving me crazy. I curl up into the foetal position and begin smashing my head off the wall. Mother bangs on the wall screaming ‘What the hell’s wrong with you?’. If only she knew. She has 3 jobs and has absolutely no time for me. She doesn’t care. She won’t even talk to me in the evenings. She says she is too tired.

11am : I’m hungry so I make another attempt at breakfast. This time I try to make some toast but I manage to burn my hand in the toaster. This makes me feel alive. Something has finally went right.



I soon realize that my body doesn’t need food anymore. I’m past that stage. Walk over to the freezer, dig out the ice tray and begin sucking on the cubes. I’ll never eat again. I WILL have cheekbones this time next month.

12 noon : I’ve caved in again. I’ve went into Subway and ordered a 12″ Meatball Marinara from Subway with extra cheese and every dressing possible. For 15 minutes I’m in heaven but the high doesn’t last. I walk into the restroom in Subway and begin pounding my head off the cubicle door. Little do I know that someone’s in there taking a crap. The cubicle opens and a tall, stocky man comes out and beats me up.

He stamps on my glasses. I feel like lying here forever. I wish he’d come back and stamp on my head and squish me like a bug. I’ve nothing to live for and I’m blind. This is the 10th time this has happened this year.




1pm : By this time I just don’t care anymore. I go to the liquor store and buy a quart of vodka. The sky is overcast and full of ravens. They’ll never feel as dark as I do. A tear rolls down my eye and I start thinking about a plausible way out of this. Castration is always a fleeting idea in my mind at moments like this, but I don’t have the guts to carry it out.

Besides even if I stabbed myself down there I’d scream like a boar on fire and Mother would come in and stop me in my tracks. I don’t want Mother to know I have genitals. I’d be happy if she assumed I’m a enuch boy.

2pm : I’ve finished half of the vodka and I’m strolling in absolutely no direction. I’ve never had any direction in life. At any moment I’m likely to smash this bottle over my own head but I don’t wanna leave a big blood puddle here. I have too much respect for nature. I don’t want to subject the birds to a public bloodbath.

3pm : I realize I have nothing in common with this pisstown. I hate everyone who lives here. I walk into Barnes & Noble in the mall and start leafing through all of the books in the Religion section. It’s all nonsense. The Bible is a complete lie. I start tearing out pages in the Christian Books and throw them over my shoulder once I’m done with them. It isn’t long before I’ve hit an old lady in the eye with the corner of a book. I run for the door and don’t stop until I’m home.

4pm : Now I’m really on the edge. I continue my rampage by trying to flush my copy of the Bible down the toilet. It doesn’t work. Mother comes running up the stairs and asks what all of the noise is about. She proceeds to beat the hell out of me when she sees the Bible lodged down there like a lonely turd. I’m tired of being abused by haters like mother. I’m only asking for the freedom to express myself but it seems as if that’s too much.



5pm : It turns out that I backed up the toilet earlier and it’s gonna cost $500 to repair. It’s the last straw for Mother and she tells me I have a 48 hours to get my stuff together and get out of her house. I don’t know where to go. I wish had someone to take me out tonight. Because I want to see people and I want to see life.

6pm : Go to my room and sign onto MSN. No-one is online. Everyone must have blocked me last night after I signed in with the handle “Eat Turd Conformist Shatters. I Hope You All Die Of Ass Cancer”. My ex comes online. We start talking. She calls me a dick. I call her a scat-munching twod. She goes offline. I’m quickly running out of friends. I’ve already ran out of family and I’m running out of time.

7pm : I spend the next hour browsing through her photo galleries on Bebo. How can she look so happy when I’ve always been so miserable? Has she been hiding a serious cocaine addiction all of this time? I don’t understand anyone and no-one understands me. They’ll never understand me. Never understand me, yeah. Tomorrow I’ll be leaving because I’m not staying. Yeah.

8pm : The last of the vodka is finished and I’m quickly fading into oblivion. I feel the need to cut to try to escape this rut. There’s nothing sharp enough in my room so I attack my arm with my cellphone. It’s LCD screen shatters upon impact. This is the last straw.




9pm : I’ve lost control again. I’ve deliberately taken a crap in my parents bed and I can hear them coming upstairs for the night. I jump into my own bed and pretend to be asleep. I can feel myself slipping into oblivion now. If only it was permanent.