Anghellic Beast

[Slim's Shady]

My first rap in this section I just found out about, I'll be using it more often though. But, obviously it's not my 1st rap EVER written. Feedback is very much appreciated

I behave in a psychotic demonic raw angel manner,
Actions trigger red flags, fuck a star spangled banner,
I'm wreckless and scared kids kept getting headaches,
Checks invested, spent relentless in the best in medics,
I know I've contradicted myself more than a gay priest,
But, I hate me for not doing anything to create peace,
What can I say about the insane state of a caged beast,
Can't complain if my brain's rage starts to plague streets,
With complete freak madness just for my amusement,
Massacres, I use them, exactly how you use booze when,
You're straight losing, in Vegas so you get drunk as hell,
I know how drunk satan gets when he's having fun as well,
A holy hip-hop song, damn I wonder if i can even do that,
God, I believe in you dad but ya angels screaming boos at,
My twisted, screwed raps and I hate this angel, hell shit,
Fuck it, I am anghellic yet my soul, I don't aim to sell it,

The feed rule or whatever....viewtopic.php?f=24&t=101852

[Slim's Shady]

No one?

[classthe_king]

This was actually really good. Flow was good, rhymes were good and you had good ideas. It's great to see new talent come in. Keep posting.

[Slim's Shady]

Thanks for the feed Class

[Mahmoud48]

damn that shits tight
10/10

[Slim's Shady]

Thanks Mahmoud

[flyingmonkey10]

[Ka0t1c]

it's pretty good, not great although i enjoy how you blended words together for transitions and also the lyrics, words and multies were decent. the message seems to be stronger than the lyrics actually show in my opinion, keep up your writing!

[Slim's Shady]

Thanks guys

[Block]

To be honest, I didn't expect this. This was good. Flow was dope and everything seemed placed almost perfectly.

Usually when I read pieces on here, the writer has scattered thoughts and doesn't contain one objective throughout the piece. You did that well. I enjoyed this, man. I'll certainly read more of your ish.

[Slim's Shady]

Haha thanks k block, I'm happy you enjoyed it

[Slim's Shady]

Will do

[Sir_Machete']

Damn possibly your best piece i've read from you. Flow and rhyme scheme you used her was fresh, cool concepts.

Actions trigger red flags, fuck a star spangled banner,

lol sick!


8/10 overall verse, good shit.

[Slim's Shady]

Damn possibly your best piece i've read from you. Flow and rhyme scheme you used her was fresh, cool concepts.

Actions trigger red flags, fuck a star spangled banner,

lol sick!


9/10 overall verse, good shit.

Haha thanks for peeping this and liking it man, i appreciate it.

Oh and i love that line