My first verse ever (mart85 beat)(Wrong section please move)

[mceddie]

i just recorded my first verse ever over one of mart85's beats. I know its shitty, but maybe you guys can help me improve :P

http://usershare.net/8eog15dneyh0

lyrics:


i know women
and women lie
but even when they sour we still fly to em like a fly
why is it that we cant stay away from the spray of that perfume
and we lay awake in the day thinkin in gloom
and the more she pushes you
the more you wanna push her too
but you cant, cause she pushes you right through
so you pursue her,cause you love her and you can feel the love subdue
I swear it isn't easy when you've been through so much together
And for all the rain weve seen, weve seen just as much fair weather
we've soared through toughest times, yeah birds of a feather
come on baby, im sorry i tied you up with that rope tether
i didnt meant to beat you completely blue, im truly sweet, and thats the truth
sorry i left you on the street bleeding with a lost tooth







link of feedback: viewtopic.php?f=44&t=102609&p=1417033#p1417033