The King's Abdication

[Audi]

Feedback:
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=103186
viewtopic.php?f=17&t=101961
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=103169
viewtopic.php?f=17&t=101945

Instrumental:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8p8EW0z7T0

To lift a monolith then to launch it into space
Isn't hard a bit, like skippin rocks on a lake
I am monstrous, large and not the one to face
God conscious, we are ominous, the fittest race

My sarcophagus into Tartarus was placed
Now my coffin sits under continental plates
Beneath obelisks and locks too big to break
But I bargain with the Gods who sealed my fate

To be pardoned and unleashed to fill my plate
To be stark, I'm a beast who's thrilled by prey
Too strong for the meak, yet still I wait
My heart beats causing seas to quake

My sharp teeth could carve trees to planks
My hard feet could stomp steel to plates
My raw speech will cause chills and shakes
My bars peaked, this rhyme scheme is played

[Xray]

Not sure what this was tbh. Too short for it to be anything... Felt copied, the whole scheme of it is cheap. Punches were nothing special cause you're mislead into thinking over hyped rhymes work with a flow that basic and boring. Basically this had no style and emotion.

[Audi]

Not sure what this was tbh. Too short for it to be anything... Felt copied, the whole scheme of it is cheap. Punches were nothing special cause you're mislead into thinking over hyped rhymes work with a flow that basic and boring. Basically this had no style and emotion.

Rhyme practice. Last line explains that.
I'll use more expensive schemes next time. Where to shop though.
There weren't any punches...at all. I can explain a punchline if you need help.
The flow was solid. Plus you've never heard ME do it.
Everything has a style by default. Crazy to comprehend, eh?
I can't read emotion either, no worries bud. Need a hug?

None of that was constructive at all so I'd appreciate if you hopped off my nuts.
Most likely I'm a better writer than you and a couple years younger so I'd be butt hurt too.

[Xray]

Yeah my bad bruh, there's no punches in there. But the flow is still nothing special. Wasn't really focusing on your rhymes cause I got bored reading. Don't take me for a dumb ass though, I know what punches are C... Bad piece from you.

lol @ the edit. Don't be stupid. I know you're younger Cole and you don't fool no one with those smileys bud. Why you being an ass because I felt this was a downgrade to your previous work? Okay fine, your stuff is better because you write more than I do. I stopped writing in my previous form though, so expect a lot more better work soon.

[Audi]

Yeah my bad bruh, there's no punches in there. But the flow is still nothing special. Wasn't really focusing on your rhymes cause I got bored reading. Don't take me for a dumb ass though, I know what punches are C... Bad piece from you.

lol @ the edit. Don't be stupid. I know you're younger Cole and you don't fool no one with those smileys bud. Why you being an ass because I felt this was a downgrade to your previous work? Okay fine, your stuff is better because you write more than I do. I stopped writing in my previous form though, so expect a lot more better work soon.

Well next time you write a full 16 with a single scheme and tell a coherent story I'll make sure to feed it. Probably shouldn't hold my breath.

I hardly write at all. I stopped writing for like 3 months. I'm an "ass" because that wasn't feed that was your sloppy attempt of a roast. Negativity without any critique. Then again you telling me how to write is like me telling you how to rap.

[Xray]

I find negative feed gives me more inspiration to build as an artist than positive feed does. Positive feed usually satisfies me enough for me to think my approach is going good, but then I have to wait to go on a haitus to realize my stuff was bad because not many people have an opinion of their own. Don't even go that lane again, I was NEVER lyrically great to even feel hurt. I have improving to do, and I'll definitely write better pieces in the future that you will like. I'll collab with you soon, if you really think you're that good bro, chill on your ego. Nothing is too great.

[Block]

I find negative feed gives me more inspiration to build as an artist than positive feed does. Positive feed usually satisfies me enough for me to think my approach is going good, but then I have to wait to go on a haitus to realize my stuff was bad because not many people have an opinion of their own.

To be honest, I agree whole-heartedly with this statement. I give negative feed a lot of the time (when I'm not being lazy and actually feel like critiquing) because I know from first-hand experience that it helps an artist to elevate. When I first started writing / rapping, all I got was negative feed and it made me see how much I really didn't know. Now I believe I'm at a place where no one can really 'critique' me because I know when and if I do something that isn't up to par with my own standards. That's all due to receiving the type of critique I had gotten. Nobody was on my dick as far as "oh you're great man!"

Writing, and hip hop in general, is all learning. If you love this craft enough, you'll give it everything you can in order to be the best you can be. It's not about out-shining other people, it's about out-shining yourself, and just being yourself.

Ehh, that wasn't feed, just my humble opinion on what was said.

To be honest, I read this the other night but wasn't inspired to feed it because it wasn't remotely good. I'm assuming you're coleon, so I know you can atleast write; I don't know what this was. Rhyming practice, as you said.. Lol.

[Audi]

Well I'll explain a little bit about this piece.

Back in the day I used to do the Syllable Series and that's when I had my best rhyming going down before I was more conceptual. Syllable Swordsman and Katana Blades were my best pieces forever and they consisted of keeping the same multi going throughout an entire piece. I haven't rapped on my level in a while so I set out to just force the hell out of another type of this song and it really helped. My rhyming just clicked. I wrote that before I wrote the other drops. It's just how I break out of rhymer's block.

[classthe_king]

Those two piece remain the best two pieces ever written on here

[Audi]

Those two piece remain the best two pieces ever written on here

Syllable Swordsman doesn't exist anymore sadly.

[classthe_king]

Those two piece remain the best two pieces ever written on here

Syllable Swordsman doesn't exist anymore sadly.

Don't fuck with Sentus

my pad and pen like scabbord and javellin
i'm back again
slashin hymns in the back of these average men
exact revenge
grabbin tracks and extracting the wrath with in
a black abyss
fathomless pit needed to trap me in
from my Catholic grin
bitches stagger and bend plus my hazardous wit
has Mastered the pen
if you after the gift, expend disaster wit glyphs
stackin my chips
stash em' and split, then spend em after i dip
a bastard and prick
had ya convinced that i had swagger and shit
craftin my spit
a cracker rappin like great white rapids and sick
capture ya bitch
had her gaspin and slit after lappin my dick
collapsin ya clique
had em factured and kilt with hammers and bricks
not blastin with clips
slashin like a dragon with the pass of my lips
snappin ya chin
smackin ya jibs after i'm finished crackin the whip
at faggots and whimps
who rap like they pimps with caddys and shit
impact of the flip
from RPG's tossin and attackin they whips
is spectac and just bliss
snaggin' a chick with a nice ass and some tits
so after i get
in the pin, the conjugals are rapid and tend
ta leave her askin again
for me to batter her clit with my massivley big
lateral limb
snackin on men, massicate they back and they ribs
then go after they friends
make amends for sins then just go at it again
my sack and it's twig
are both maddenly thick and often strattle ya kids
females cuz masculines sick
i'm the result of acid and coke attracted and mixed
collabin with dense
Arabic kids with c4 packs strapped to they ribs
grapple and clench
cause my callauseless fists are too valued to spend
in a battle that's sinched
i'm tactical and won't attack you and miss
put scapal to skin
closin the opening when i stab you and stitch
laugh at a diss
cause bitch, i'm up skilled, imacuallate at this
graftin my skin
with abdomen slips ripped from a talentless bitch
tryin to battle me since
bafflin my sense is valent, but not active wit attempts
rapturin slick

[Audi]

Props out the ass.

How???? And you're missin a couple end bars I posted separately because my phone couldn't fit it.

Something about capturing it then cappin the lense to relive all the magic again.

[classthe_king]

:y: Props out the ass.

How???? And you're missin a couple end bars I posted separately because my phone couldn't fit it.

Something about capturing it then cappin the lense to relive all the magic again.

Damn, I don't have those

[Audi]

:y: Props out the ass.

How???? And you're missin a couple end bars I posted separately because my phone couldn't fit it.

Something about capturing it then cappin the lense to relive all the magic again.

Damn, I don't have those

Yah didn't have them haha. The favorite piece thread?

Rap's antagonist packin a fist for a masochist
on back again, and jammin' more than traffic is
the pacifist raps is always so savage with tracks an
talented, immaculate but never passive with action
the fathomless faction, 5 deep rappin' assasins
talons are slashin to put you fags in the trash bin
you can't even fathom half the data extracted
from chasms of talent I've amassed with a passion
packin' our axes to sling with wrath at you bastids
hack em and dash with a gang full of masked men
lynguistic'z is havoc to slit ya cap into fractions
a has been at clappin' straight cashin' his gats in
to get some cash for a matress after havin a stab with
battlin' me while I'm mad pissed, the black smith
craftin a bag of tricks out of sadness and mad spit
don't clash with a rabid jackal with cracked lips
from batterin ad libs with a nack to smash bricks
matter of fact bitch, I've dabbled with black sins
unravelin the fact that in fact I'm wraths twin
pass judgement on men with a gavel to smash kids
tackle their backs quick cuz life's path has a mad twist
but before that hitch I'll get half of you hacks lynched

[classthe_king]

That's where I got them from when you deleted your account lol. I have them saved on my computer Is that weird


And which one's that?