Just trying ta flex my writing chops

[bipolar-bear]

My first real attempt at this so critiques are more than welcome.


My flows so stellar it packs such a punch
Im snacking on you other rappers just for lunch
Im the raddest maddest baddest apple of the bunch
Never back down when it comes to the crunch
Such mood swings its like i got bipolar
My real face aint always the one that i show ya
So best brace yourself for the fiercest of opponents
Face me boy and ill stare ya down in a moment
Ill smash all ya teeth out inlcuding the molars
Rip out your organs you will require donors
im fatser than lightning, and five times as frightening
And pack a punch harder than Tysons
Fuck with me and with death you are dicing
Coz im nabbing, stabbing, cutting, wounding and splicing

[shadddyaftermatth]

if u wrote that on a peice o' paper
throw that fucking thing away
jk i can to his !

[bipolar-bear]

My ego was crushed until i read the last part of ya post lol!

[Mahmoud48]

damn thats really good

[shadddyaftermatth]

My ego was crushed until i read the last part of ya post lol!

yeah im just messing with you man keep it going

[bipolar-bear]

I had a bit of a rewrite what do you guys think, id really like some critiques.

[shadddyaftermatth]

I had a bit of a rewrite what do you guys think, id really like some critiques.

yeahh son !

[Spaceboundsupenova]

Keep trying for fun, just a word of advice. Alliteration in rap sounds awful unless you've got a unique sound like Lil Wayne for example or else you sound like a cheesypoof that needs to shut the he'll up.

Maddest baddest apple in the bunch I believe was rhymed with lunch? Sounds like elementary to me. If you love it keep going, just try to hear your own voice