The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

The Skill of Blood

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

The Skill of Blood

Postby Pauly D » Jan 24th, '11, 05:12

I write on this paper, to get shit out of me
the vapors seep through my bone, like violent sodomy
I touch this inkless pen, write and thoughtless thoughts spew out instead
I laid your precious verse down, and tucked it in it's bed
lyrics sound as if they're dead, but the writers' imagination
are falsely glowing in their head, like radioactive brain stimulation
perhaps that didn't flow the way you wanted it
so how 'bout you write it off, and cheaply audit it
techinically you couldn't understand half the shit that's written
so why doesn't everybody write backwards, for the sake of bein' misriddin'
there goes the flow again, in case you're stll readin'
the ink is turnin' red(read), as if it started bleedin'

If it wasn't for the 20 post thing, you'd see my feedback. But yeah here's the link
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=106685
Pauly D
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Jan 18th, '11, 14:49

Re: The Skill of Blood

Postby Pauly D » Jan 25th, '11, 22:50

Bump..
Pauly D
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Jan 18th, '11, 14:49

Re: The Skill of Blood

Postby Just Silver » Jan 26th, '11, 03:50

not bad especially at a double digit poster

liked the rhymes had decent structure and flowed pretty nice
:y:
Image
User avatar
Just Silver
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7791
Joined: Jun 27th, '09, 03:40
Location: East Coast
Gender: Male

Re: The Skill of Blood

Postby Pauly D » Feb 5th, '11, 06:34

thanks i appreciate it
Pauly D
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Jan 18th, '11, 14:49

Re: The Skill of Blood

Postby Sam. » Feb 5th, '11, 13:24

I liked the rhymes but could not flow that easily , duuno why ! but that's nothing compared to the way it was structured . :y:
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
Image
Image
User avatar
Sam.
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 16630
Joined: Jun 7th, '10, 11:10
Location: India
Gender: Male

Re: The Skill of Blood

Postby Pauly D » Feb 7th, '11, 22:49

MCSam wrote:I liked the rhymes but could not flow that easily , duuno why ! but that's nothing compared to the way it was structured . :y:


The way I say it can flow pretty good, but like it said in the verse, "It might not flow the way you wanted it" :D

thanks tho
Pauly D
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Jan 18th, '11, 14:49


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users