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Verse I wrote in class today...rate/hate...feedback/etc.

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Verse I wrote in class today...rate/hate...feedback/etc.

Postby RainMan44 » Feb 16th, '11, 07:59

Link of feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=107621&p=1518933#p1518933


Here's the beat it flows well, too...no instrumental, but go to around 3:18 and you can flow to it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr-xKU7ilUs


(THE WORDS IN PARENTHESES ARE TO BE SPOKEN BY ME BUT PRETENDING IT IS SOMEONE ELSE)




Homies want to kick it, but I'd rather make tracks
To try and somehow rid hip hop of these fake cats
So I'm usually in my own zone, doin' my own thing
Writin' down lyrics, when I hear the phone ring
"Hello?" ("Sup, man?") "Yo, I'll call you back dude!
I'm really sorry and I ain't tryna act rude
And I ain't in a bad mood, but I've gotta go write
Just got a couple beats from my man and they so tight!"
("Damn, why you never wanna kick it, son?")
"Yo I told you I can't till this shit is done!"
("Whatever dawg, you ain't gotta lie to me....)
"Haha, I'll call you up tommorow, we'll go and grab a bite to eat"
Homies don't seem to understand, to them it might seem
Like nothin' but a pipe dream.....bite me
This my only outlet from the distresses of life, yo
But to them these words I write are nothin' but trifle



Chorus:
(Airplanes Sample) And it seems like yesterday.......
(C.R.E.A.M Raekwon Sample) It was just a dream for the teen (scratching involved)
(Me): Friends or the music? man I'm torn in between
Cuz to them this shit is nothin' more than a dream





Feedback is greatly appreciated :y:
Last edited by RainMan44 on Feb 16th, '11, 08:43, edited 1 time in total.
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




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Re: Verse I wrote in class today...rate/hate...feedback/etc.

Postby mdemaz » Feb 16th, '11, 08:03

I'm sure people are gonna hate this but I love it.
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Just Silver wrote:I think every guy should massage their prostate at least once

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Re: Verse I wrote in class today...rate/hate...feedback/etc.

Postby RainMan44 » Feb 16th, '11, 08:05

mdemaz wrote:I'm sure people are gonna hate this but I love it.

Thanks alot man, I can always count on you to read my verses and leave feedback :y:
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




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RainMan44
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Location: CA
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Re: Verse I wrote in class today...rate/hate...feedback/etc.

Postby RainMan44 » Feb 17th, '11, 04:32

Bumpin'
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




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RainMan44
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Posts: 1093
Joined: Nov 21st, '10, 08:51
Location: CA
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Re: Verse I wrote in class today...rate/hate...feedback/etc.

Postby RainMan44 » Feb 18th, '11, 07:45

BuMpiN' lol
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




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User avatar
RainMan44
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Posts: 1093
Joined: Nov 21st, '10, 08:51
Location: CA
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