Pearly Gates (8)

[WakeUpShow]

I died as a sinner, and met Peter at the Pearly Gates
He was shocked that we were meeting at this early date
He said "I'm sorry, sir, you lived a life of womanizing"
Then my disposition changed from happy to despising
He said "I can let you tell one friend, a warning if you may"
He followed me as I met my friend who was swarming with dismay
As I leaned in to whisper...he started to shake
I said "Kill yourself now, no one's guarding the gates!"


http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=111926

[WakeUpShow]

bump..

[classthe_king]

Good concept, pretty short though. I'm not sure what you want people to say.

[WakeUpShow]

Good concept, pretty short though. I'm not sure what you want people to say.

basically what you said, good concept/rhyming. I made it short, cause I wasn't really into it haha, and plus it's just a little joke, so a 16 would seem like overkill just for one punchline.

[WakeUpShow]

bump..

[WakeUpShow]

bump..

[Fa-Q]

definitely want to see more from this. Great multis and concept

[Enimee]

I cosign the other comments defnitly goin in the right direction with this id love to seeu develope this more into a more in depth peice

[WakeUpShow]

i was thinking that too, but I think a 16 would be overboard for a little punchline at the end. I may lengthen it though.