Puncture Wounds

by **Block** » Apr 24th, '11, 19:10

I wrote this to a beat ax-d made for me. I'm waiting to get in a studio to record it for the EP maybe and I are making. I got bored and was going through some shit I've written and decided to post it.

Your blue eyes are fading to a new line, I'm hating it..
I'm playing with the buttons on my phone (I'm tryna take it in)
the thought that we were make believe
that you and I were made of tin..
made as thin as paper is, the kind we use for tracing with.. ((my lips))
trace a pattern on your face, so I could sit and play with it..
I could sit for days and utter words of my contempt
or I could try to find the way to work the birds around my neck
(and you would think that that was poetry)..
really it's a way for me to say that I was kowningly
the one that had the wings and I would leave if it was snowing..
(relationships are-n't always sunshine and rainbows), case closed ((case closed))
the same goes for you as it had gone for all the rest of them..
"Best of friends" is only something written on your greeting cards,
keep the scars, keep apart from me.. (I don't need it all)..
I don't need the wall on which you paint me as the enemy,
you save another coat incase it dries before the ending leaks..

I would be obliged if you could take the time to pray for me..
wait in line, (take the keys), say goodbye to vacancy ((say goodbye to we))..
we had never understood it but we knew the time would come
so you try to find your footing on a rhyme so you can run
(who's the one that couldn't hide it?) (your eyes were always numb)
and they were coal black and vacant where the 'take me' used to dance..
making use of free time, (shaking loose the damaged tree)
and gathering the roots, I'm making nooses out of canopies,
(a nuisance that I've proven to make use of secondhandedly)..
and I don't wanna use them, I'mma tie them all together
as a metaphor for 'hanging in' despite of all the weather..
despite of all the weather I'mma set my ship afloat now,
and gather all the waves until I have enough to go drown
the coast around the island in the sea of "I don't know how",
to see if I don't know how the hurricane will handle me..
you're the main sail and I'm the wind that did the damaging..

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=112307

by **Maybe** » Apr 24th, '11, 19:52

Breathtaking. In all honesty, the last part of the first verse and the entire second verse are some of the best work I've seen from you. Perfection, to say the least, and your rhyme scheme is beyond my capabilities. I was wondering why you'd post something so sufficient and mesmerizing, but then I remembered that the songs on our EP are better.

The flow was so precise, that I couldn't even flow it off beat without a beat. The rhyming was obviously godly, and the content... well, poetic is an understatement, and like most of your other stuff, this felt more "whole" as a song, and not just a scribbled up attempt at sounding relevant (no offense to Sadistik). You actually understand the definition of the word "metaphor", and utilize its advantages in every aspect of wordplay. You make me proud... :'(