Rich vs Poor (ft Liquid)

[Innovation]

A conceptual track.

The general idea is that the rich tend to be ignorant about poor people and how they live. The rich verse has stereotypes about the poor and the poor verse sort of counters it.

Feed is much appreciated! Enjoy

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=115700&p=1669053#p1669053

(Liquid)

You had a choice you didn't take, You lived with a smitten aim
The distant was hidden and you took a risk and you fell in the frame
I had a mission to live for and I did it nigga, I finished it straight
I made a vision i'm currently living, i'm getting pussies and millions of plates
You're spreading your hate onto the successful ones
The chance of me helping you bitches has a potential .. none
I'm getting more cash in a second that you have assembled, son
Go take a stance on an employment place, I ain't get you one
Quit spitting tons of this bullshit and come at me when you're finished-
-Finding a job and don't sell crack sucka do a decent business

(Innovation)

I have almost nothing, what I own is very minimal,
But you look down on me like some sort of criminal?
Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,
And here is why, I wouldn't have to beg, degrade myself,
You're ignorant to that; you just parade your wealth,
To get out of this hell I'll take any damn opportunity,
Instead of the prejudice, how about a shot at unity?
This life is hard, if the roles were reversed, you would see.

[BILI]

Great drop guys...I like the topic/concept of it...well technically Liquid had a better verse(rhymes, multies,etc..) but I liked Innovations more...it dig it more and I felt it...Nice job both of you

The first part of Innovations verse is

I have almost nothing, what I own is very minimal,
But you look down on me like some sort of criminal?
Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,

Liquid I liked this bar

You're spreading your hate onto the successful ones
The chance of me helping you bitches has a potential .. none

[Innovation]

Great drop guys...I like the topic/concept of it...well technically Liquid had a better verse(rhymes, multies,etc..) but I liked Innovations more...it dig it more and I felt it...Nice job both of you

The first part of Innovations verse is

I have almost nothing, what I own is very minimal,
But you look down on me like some sort of criminal?
Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,

Liquid I liked this bar

You're spreading your hate onto the successful ones
The chance of me helping you bitches has a potential .. none

Cheers for the feed man, much appreciated.

(rhymes, multies,etc..)

I had quite a few multi's in the part you quoted.

I have almost nothing, what I own is very minimal,
But you look down on me like some sort of criminal?
Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy

But yeah thanks for the feed man!

[BILI]

^^I never said you didnt,I just said I liked his more...

[classthe_king]

(Liquid)

You had a choice you didn't take, You lived with a smitten aim
The distant was hidden and you took a risk and you fell in the frame
I had a mission to live for and I did it *****, I finished it straight
I made a vision i'm currently living, i'm getting pussies and millions of plates
You're spreading your hate onto the successful ones
The chance of me helping you bitches has a potential .. none
I'm getting more cash in a second that you have assembled, son
Go take a stance on an employment place, I ain't get you one
Quit spitting tons of this bullshit and come at me when you're finished-
-Finding a job and don't sell crack sucka do a decent business

Pretty decent verse. The flow in the begining was horrible then it sort of picked up halfway through. Like I always say, write it too a beat when you're rapping it.

(Innovation)

I have almost nothing, what I own is very minimal,
But you look down on me like some sort of criminal?
Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,
And here is why, I wouldn't have to beg, degrade myself,
You're ignorant to that; you just parade your wealth,
To get out of this hell I'll take any damn opportunity,
Instead of the prejudice, how about a shoot at unity?
This life is hard, if the roles were reversed, you would see.

Wow, you've improved a lot. Flow was good the whole time and you had some nice transistion lines One thing is that you want to always have a rhyme scheme on an even number of lines

Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,

the way the bar is set up you expect to hear another rhyme of that scheme come but then you hear degrade myself and it makes it sound awkward. Also it would be shot at unity, not shoot at unity, unless you said how about let's shoot at unity. keep up the good work though.

[Innovation]

(Innovation)

I have almost nothing, what I own is very minimal,
But you look down on me like some sort of criminal?
Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,
And here is why, I wouldn't have to beg, degrade myself,
You're ignorant to that; you just parade your wealth,
To get out of this hell I'll take any damn opportunity,
Instead of the prejudice, how about a shoot at unity?
This life is hard, if the roles were reversed, you would see.

Wow, you've improved a lot. Flow was good the whole time and you had some nice transistion lines One thing is that you want to always have a rhyme scheme on an even number of lines

Don't be so cynical, you think I'm here by choice?
I try for jobs, but no one seems to hear my voice,
If I had one, believe me, I'd cry tears of joy,

the way the bar is set up you expect to hear another rhyme of that scheme come but then you hear degrade myself and it makes it sound awkward. Also it would be shot at unity, not shoot at unity, unless you said how about let's shoot at unity. keep up the good work though.

Ah typo. Thanks for pointing that out.

I really appreciate the feedback and kind words mate.

I'll work on the rhyme scheme structure on my next drop, thanks for pointing that out. I'll also try to fix up on the way I transition from two schemes. Thanks once again man.

[Innovation]

C.R.E.A.M is Liquid right? I'll start with that verse. First of all, I loved the rhyme scheme. It seemed to flow great for me. From "potential - none" on it was really fun to spit. It reminded me of Em's 8 Mile battles for some reason. Maybe the rhymes are similar lol. I dunno. But yeah I liked it, I just think it tailed off on the last 2 lines though.

Innovation - Good flow, but very basic rhyming. I'd suggest trying to make your multies bigger. Think of a 3 or 4 syllable way to end your lines, and try to stick to that rhyme. It makes your piece sound more coherent. I'm not saying you did bad, just saying your rhymes were basic.

Overall, I liked the piece and the concept.

I had 3 syllable rhyming throughout. I stretched to 5 syllable rhymes in this piece.

Shot at unity
Opportunity

And also 4 syllables

Degrade myself
Parade your wealth

Thanks for the feedback though. Appreciated.