Night Terrors

[ArsheyHaq]

Just bored.


I wake up in the night with thousands of questions,/
doubts, and regrets when I should be countin' my blessings/
instead my heart pounds in my chest and gives my bowels indigestion!/
I've got so many issues Iono how to address them/
I'm losin' every round to my bouts of depression/
tryin' to keep my head in the sky, but these rainy days cloud my perception/
I've squandered my life away doin' shit I've found interestin'/
payed for some rentals and played some Nintendo/
instead of working on' homework; I'mma waste of potential!/
but it's cuz I ain't no Asian/oriental kid who could solve equations in pencil like it's nothing!
Ahhh!! Shit makes me go mental! Got a gun placed at my temple/
ready to end it right here if I didn't think, one day, I could create something special/
with my raps...




http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic. ... 4&t=116342

[ArsheyHaq]

Haha thanks, C.R.E.A.M.! I can always depend on you to leave feed

Anyone else? lol

[Enimee]

shyt was hard you def no how to det up your multis and keep a consitent flow, real solid i liked it...and you werent repetitive either witch is a plus meaning you used good enough vocab to continue your thoughts and not let them die mid rhyme. good work i look forward to readin more like this, and better from you

[VenomBlackViper]

Great piece, as usual your multies were right on point. Content isn't my favorite as everyone should know but you did it well. I'm guessing the end part "with my raps" was meant to be an ad lib not part of the actual rap right?

[ArsheyHaq]

Yes, it was an ad lib it doesn't rhyme with anything lol but thanks for the feedback, eryone! I really appreciate the kind words; it's motivating.

[Fa-Q]

multis!!!! I love this piece, the only thing I might say is the structure. Structure is pretty important and you may want to take a syllable or two out of each line....great piece and I'd like to see more from this particular one

[ArsheyHaq]

multis!!!! I love this piece, the only thing I might say is the structure. Structure is pretty important and you may want to take a syllable or two out of each line....great piece and I'd like to see more from this particular one

I agree the structure was pretty messy. This was just something I wrote while bored, right before the Nightmare on Sesame Street collab. Thanks for the constructive feed though! Those are my favorite types of comments.