Reminiscing

[ArsheyHaq]

This one's a diss to a lot of people in my life; old friends, ex's, etc. Kinda like what Game did to G-Unit a few years back. The names are censored, and sorry for all the "inside" jokes. It may seem a little strange to the reader, but it means a lot to me so I'm posting it. Looking to see what ya'll think..

(chorus x2)
It breaks my heart
oooh, it aches so hard
cuz I never meant for us to stray so far


I keep bangs to hide the 666/
and I'm always bein' told tsk, tsk, tsk/
well, tell **** to fix his lisp/
cuz I don't understand shit that this kid spits!/ (say it, don't spray it)
and tell ****** that he's ugly..he should slit his wrists/
he'd rather die than not have ****,
so I'm just makin' sure he gets his wish from last year's Christmas list!/ haha
faggot, remember, before our fight, you called and fed me a lecture?/
about how you'd leave me on a medical stretcher, and eat me like Hannibal Lector/
what happened, man? We fought and I set a new record../
for history's shortest fight EVER!/
I performed my 'one hit wonder'/
one hit and you were wonderin' where the FUCK you were! I left your some bitch studderin'/
You tried to fight me? You musta lost all logic/
cuz goin' against me's a bigger mistake than ***** (a guy who was a mistake)/
my birthday's not "your scene"? What is then? A padded cell in the suicide ward?/
oops...I said I wouldn't do it, I swore/
but this is just the kinda shit I do when I'm bored/
I destroy my targets; I'm a human cyborg!/
while comin' up with rhymes that you would die for/
oh, wait..that's right..shit, bad example/
someone get those pills out his adam's apple!/
let em know that his shot glass is half-full!/ haha
which brings me to *****, who's depressed and can't hold his liquor/
cuz girls ain't wanna fuck no stick figure/
they tell 'em "put your dick away; use your nose, it's bigger!"/ haha
and *****, how do you expect to earn a livin' off of journalism?/
the day you make the papers is when you turn up missing!/
first, take a Sabbatical to fix your grammatical errors/
then, realize battlin' me is like battlin' radical terror!/
lastly, don't get mad at me for your looks always shatterin' mirrors/ haha
that's prolly the reason for all your bad luck, you fat fuck/
and now you finally got a girl, but she's ugly...that sucks/
naw, I was actually quite impressed cuz she's quite the 'catch'.../
...literally! If she fell down a flight of steps don't save her; MOVE! It's life or death!/ haha
Naw, it's cool, you tried your best. Your bad taste is prolly side effects/
from BEING REJECTED BY EVERY GIRL, but I digress/
and to think, for years, we were bestest best friends!/
yeah...that was an investment well-spent.../


(chorus x2)
It breaks my heart
oooh, it aches so hard
cuz I never meant for us to stray so far


viewtopic.php?f=24&t=115334

[Block]

The structure in the beginning is very reminiscent of "Do Tell" by Joey Budden.

Your flow was great for text. I love your choice of words and some witty little metaphores in there.

I can picture this being rapped like Em on Cleaning Out My Closet, lol.. That's the vibe I get from it. A "Fuck you--But I'm still kinda hurt" type shit.

I like it bro. Hit me back if you can on my latest piece.

[ArsheyHaq]

Thanks, both of you, for the nice feedback! And God bless you both for reading that whole thing haha shit was long

[WakeUpShow]

Nice shit man, you're one of the better writers on here. I love the rhymes, they are always on point and very clever. I can feel your anger and that's what I love the most. Some nice wordplay and structure to top it off, good job man

[ArsheyHaq]

Thanks, Cosh! I can always count on you to give me some quality feedback

[WakeUpShow]

Thanks, Cosh! I can always count on you to give me some quality feedback

No problem Arsh, I love reading your shit.