Nothin's Changed (PROBABLY MY BEST PIECE YET)

[RainMan44]

Link of feedback:
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=118267

(Wrote this after I had a long talk with a random old stranger telling me to straighten out my life after I got lost in a forest and knocked on his door on the 4th of July lmao)


Everybody.....
Tryna push this generation of us lazy teens
Who, y'all believe, are too caught up in our crazy dreams
It maybe seems, these goals we can't reach at all
But instead of GUIDIN' US, y'all fuckers preach and call
Us PATHETIC SCUMS of this EARTH who are WORTHless SOULS
And think y'all are model citizens as far as perfect goes
But forget THAT, the one thing that absolutely hurts the most
And it just...FUCKING IRKS ME, OHHH!!!
Is that you HYPOCRITICAL CUNTS, just sit on your butts
While raisin' your kids, not even givin' a FUCK
Like you don't remember bein' young in the back of a truck
With a bitch, mackin' her up, smackin' her butt
Or hangin' with your boys just smokin' some pot
Just straight chillin' and hysterically jokin' a lot
My point being; for you old fucks who've told us to change?
When you were our age, you were MUCH THE SAME



Chorus:
I'm tired of all you fucks, who keep pointin' out the flaws in us
...while y'all were pretty much the saaammeee
So if you go ahead and just start openin' UP your eyes
...You will see that really man, nothiiiin's chaaanged

[ArsheyHaq]

Dang, I liked this a lot. Had a nice, clear message (that you delivered pretty much flawlessly) with solid rhyming even rhymes like "reach at all"/"preach and call" and "hurts the most"/"IRKS ME, OHHH!!!", which were sort of forced, didn't seem forced. It fit perfectly. Add a second verse to this and it'll be a pretty dope piece...just as long as the second verse is just as focused, topic-wise, as your first.

[classthe_king]

Forreal, this was solid all around. You had excellent rhymes and your flow was perfect. I could rap it smoothly the entire time and that's rare for this site. I can't remember if I've read anything from you before or not but this was great. I don't really have an criticism.

[WakeUpShow]

This is great. Perfectly clear message delivered with witty rhymes plus great structure and flow.
The only criticism I have is the word "hysterically" throws off the flow in that line a smidge. Other than that, it's perfect. Nice use of internal rhymes too.

[RainMan44]

Thanks for the kind words, guys
Appreciate that



(MORE FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED BY OTHERS)

[mdemaz]

Nothing has changed..Including your talented lyricism.
Well done.

[Enimee]

this was very well done, while there wasnt nothing to flashy or extravagent in it that made my jaw drop, you had super solid rhyme schemes that brought your point forward in the most clear and concise way possible, which is the whole point of makin a song in my opinion so
fuck yeah
fuck old people !!! lol

dope shit

[RainMan44]

Nothing has changed..Including your talented lyricism.
Well done.

Thanks a lot brotha, means a lot to hear something like that.

[RainMan44]

this was very well done, while there wasnt nothing to flashy or extravagent in it that made my jaw drop, you had super solid rhyme schemes that brought your point forward in the most clear and concise way possible, which is the whole point of makin a song in my opinion so
fuck yeah
fuck old people !!! lol

dope shit

Thank you for the feedback, it's appreciated

[SajN]

I liked it!

The rhyming was good, and the flow was so nice.

But after this line

And it just...FUCKING IRKS ME, OHHH!!!

I didn't like it as much as the first half, which was dope

[VenomBlackViper]

Damn you've improved a lot since you first started, got your multi game up a lot better. Great piece man, was feeling the content, rhyme scheme & flow of this. This is great for what it was intended to be.

[RainMan44]

I normally respond to all of you individually with a 'thanks' or whatever, but I'm too tired to do so........So, thank you everyone for the kind words and the feedback


Appreciate it

[RainMan44]

BUMP!!!

[Sam.]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124863
Feed this and i'll return it tomorrow .

[Man1x]

Love the internals and the concept, really good concept. Flowed well and had great ending multis, I could feel the emotion bro, keep grinding. This was good shit. Also, it'd be appreciated if you feed the link Sam posted above ^