First Story Telling Rap

[Mahmoud48]

He's like a demon uncaged
Semen in that bitch till she cant stand straight
Cheated and beaten and now she got aids
Decreasing blood circulation so she cant say
Who did and the medics are to damn late
Pathetic cuz that girl died at a young ass age
Now the sinister minster is free all day
Torturing young girls like it's Childs play
The seed of chucky, luckly got away
such catastrophe how its so sad to see
the anatomy exposed so unnaturally
the poor virgin getting ripped open
and the blood flowing down her legs
while shes holding, gripping tight to the bed sheets
crying and screaming till the tears pass down her cheeks
pleading STOP STOP but he wont get off her
and as she drops drops and he picks her up
asphyxiate that bitch fixated on snapping her neck off
wrapping the rope tighter at every cough
pushing him away to back off trying to stop
but its too late she dies and and shit

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[mdemaz]

Ah, I like this.

"such catastrophe how its so sad to see
the anatomy exposed so unnaturally"
4 hit combos everywhere..Excellent structure and story telling elements in this piece..
The whole serial killing thing has been a favorite topic of mine for a long time.

[Static]

This is awesome, I like it a lot. I can imagine it to sort of a funky beat, something similar in style to Same Song and Dance. I think that could work amazingly good. It flowed great, solid rhyming throughout (though I think you got a little lazy towards the very end), and a crazy ass story. I love the reference to Chucky too, who doesn't love Chucky? Oh, and you seem to have a great vocabulary, that is always a pluss. Very, very good for your first story telling rap man! I've tried it a couple of times myself, and I know how annoying and hard it can be sometimes. Atleast I think so.

[JamaicanPattlez]

I liked as well, keep it up!