The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Gene

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 05:31

so i wrote this just lettin off steam, i was thinkin of one of my few bestfriends that was shot and killed begginning of this year, and decided to get feed abck from it, tell me whaat yall think. gimme feedbackk



My homie Gene, taken from us on the first day of 2011/
I still can’t believe it, man was shot by a .357/
Don’t worry my friend, me and Kevin went in and shot at em with a mac 11/
I missed but hell is were Kevin sent em/
Anyway I remember you always talkin bout the afterlife man how’s heaven?

I miss you man and it’s hard to believe, you were the fuckin one who had to leave/
When I heard man all I could do was grieve, the team? Man we’ve- /
Dedicated everything to you, im sorry you never got to ahieve- /
Your goals man, and the mothafucka who got you? It took a reprieve/
But his dreams are sheathed, man I remember when we first joined the team/
In the first game We built up the steam waitin to be released/
my first time in I let out scream, tackled the QB but snapped my knee, he switched me out and you were nervous about getting in, I got you pumped up, built up your esteem/

You went in and for the rest of the quarter you got every sack/
at the end i think he was carried off with a broken back/
After that, fear is what you always lacked/
Man We worked out every day, from swimmin to hittin the track/
So many memories man we had the perfect match for a friendship
With me being white, you being black, your mother was happy cause of that/
Man You always had my back, when I got jumped you went on the attack/
When you threw him down the stairs and we all heard his skull crack/
The other 2 mothafuckas ran away like some pussy ass fags/
From then on out every bitch was to scared of us to scrap/
Man im tired of this, il see ya later man ima take a nap/
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 06:05

yea when i posted it here it was one big huge verse, but i decided to change it so it didnt look wierd...lol
and yea its all true story

mkay, im tryin to just get more multi's in my songs realy
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 06:14

Geno wrote:I was gonna say you should try to fit more if you can, but I know what it's like writing about personal stuff. It gets hard to find the words. Take a look at Difficult by Em for example. You know? So I think simpler songs, especially about death and similar subjects, is alright. :y:


haha yea i made another one, about killing this girl..one of the things i talk about is "sowing her pussy shut/ now nobody will give a fuck" hahahahahaha violent shit is way fuckin easier to rhyme
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 06:21

not yet, im not done with it haha
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby Alex2012 » Jul 19th, '11, 11:24

Very emotional for me, I also lost a best friend, so I can go inside easily, I have not really analyze the structure and rhyme, I had not really want, I preferred to take it as it came .

did you finished Lifes a Dream?
I'm out of the matrix and I improved my music taste here, I opened my eyes and discovered so different ways to see the world, thanks to you all!

That started here:
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=111344

That will end here:
http://www.hiphopshelter.com/
User avatar
Alex2012
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1091
Joined: Apr 3rd, '11, 22:12
Gender: Female

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 18:07

no :'( i could never think of a good enough chorus for it
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby Mahmoud48 » Jul 19th, '11, 18:16

As genocide said it's structured weird so it's hard to read it
ODD FUTURE ASAP OVOXO BLACK HIPPY GOOD MUSIC
User avatar
Mahmoud48
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2508
Joined: Jul 17th, '10, 03:40
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 18:31

Geno wrote:If you want me to, I can do a chorus and even a verse if you want so you post it. :smoking:


do i smell a collab? :flutter: haha if you want suure go ahead
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 18:31

Mahmoud48 wrote:As genocide said it's structured weird so it's hard to read it


read it as one big verse, i broke it apart cus i didnt want it that long but eh
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 22:36

Geno wrote:
SWEET_TOOTH wrote:
Geno wrote:If you want me to, I can do a chorus and even a verse if you want so you post it. :smoking:


do i smell a collab? :flutter: haha if you want suure go ahead

Yeah sure man haha. Got your verse down? Send me it and so I have an idea of what to do. :y:


wait are you talkin about my "girl rape/murder" one?
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: Gene

Postby BigBoss » Jul 19th, '11, 23:41

ooooh you wanna do the chorus? if you want be my guest,


or we could just make a whole new song hahaahaha but its up to you
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Next

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron