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H.A.M. Freeverse

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H.A.M. Freeverse

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Jul 19th, '11, 12:52

My shot at writing with the instrumental. Hopefully it's good! Critique is welcome, naturally! :y:

LISTEN WITH INSTRUMENTAL HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbCL7SJ7un0

Proclamation that you're the new highness, now underestimation at it's finest,
Constipation of mind makes you biased, with consummation is making you riot,
All I'm saying is I have the touch of Midas, cold like Autumn, getting to the minus,
Hip Hop nation's strangled, tied up, while all them rock fans screaming " fuck you, fight us!"
But I'm bright enough to stay on top while the mic we love is with Young Joc,
Like the Mighty Ducks, I'll get mocked then swing back like I was down the block,
Get popped, but niggas didn't figure that I'm bigger than that to go and pull the trigger,
See I'm a thinker, so turn on your blinkers you drinker, I'ma bounce outta here like I'm fuckin' Tigger,
What I don't get is your perception to the fact that you think you're now the best, and
Your conception of weak progression's gone through dimensions like the fuckin' Jetsons,
Words are weapons so pay attention to my mentions and pray that I don't get lame questions,
Not even sexing can save you from the profession of a man who wants your bitch's attention,
There's tension, but I'll point you in the direction of correction with my big erection,
Transgressions aside I'm a terrible guy and angering me will strengthen the apprehension,
I'm dealing with fools who treat me like tools and these dudes look like they're dumber than mules,
But it's cool 'cause they drool stool that could form a pool thinking that they're bad as a ghoul.


Chorus:
Fuck it I'm going in, yeah now I'm going HAM,
Dunno what I'm gonna bring, but now I'm gonna slam,
Damn, first you pull shit, and now you're throwing it,
Now I'm mad, and you've start to made me sin,
You were spitting all this shit now I'm a fuckin' show you,
I'ma tear you up like this is shopping produce,
Now I'm pissed, and I'm about to go HAM on you
You've just got fucked over man, dog I've got the cam for you.


viewtopic.php?f=24&t=119171
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

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Re: H.A.M. Freeverse

Postby Sam. » Jul 19th, '11, 12:59

man that was dope as fuck really good lines there flawless till the end ,but i gotta tell ya i see you wanna put all your thoughts in it which made the bars a lot longer that it was difficult to read through .
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
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Re: H.A.M. Freeverse

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Jul 19th, '11, 19:37

MCSam wrote:man that was dope as fuck really good lines there flawless till the end ,but i gotta tell ya i see you wanna put all your thoughts in it which made the bars a lot longer that it was difficult to read through .


Thanks! Yeah, I felt like I had to put a lot in my bars just to keep up with the regular flow Jay and Yeezy usually have. Any tips on making it easier to read with these types of bars in the future?
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

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Re: H.A.M. Freeverse

Postby Sam. » Jul 19th, '11, 20:32

read and do poetry that really helps with this .

okay let's see
Proclamation that you're the new highness, now underestimation at it's finest,
Constipation of mind makes you biased, with consummation is making you riot,

can be changed to

proclaim your new highness ,underestimation at it's finest,
constipated mind makes you biased and consummation riot.
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
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