The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

races. we ain't

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

races. we ain't

Postby M&M59 » Jul 19th, '11, 23:38

first of all this is not a shot at anybody, im just feeling guilty for the things white people did back then.

second.
this is my first rap i finished writing ever on english, so don't go to hard on me.


it's supposed to be rapped over this beat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd_hbezTMHk

we made a image we created/
a dream i had in my head and i faced it/
got in laid taped and raped it/
it seemed like i should put it out on the net and be patient/
it felt completed and ready to be rated/
but the way it was treated and debated i felt hated/
i diden't think it was needed to say this but rap supposed to have many faces and draw many races/
and it's just the case that if i'm white people won't buy it and i just have to face it/
and even tho its bumbing and the adrealine is pumping you still being racist/
but every people do dumb things and we just get our own medicine back in our faces/
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe
User avatar
M&M59
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Apr 30th, '11, 14:14
Location: Denmark
Gender: Male

Re: races. we ain't

Postby BigBoss » Jul 20th, '11, 00:23

i liked it :b:
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
BigBoss
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 10:01
Gender: Male

Re: races. we ain't

Postby M&M59 » Jul 20th, '11, 00:58

SWEET_TOOTH wrote:i liked it :b:


thanks man, means alot :happy:

i know it ain't nothing speacial, but im just trying to improve.
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe
User avatar
M&M59
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Apr 30th, '11, 14:14
Location: Denmark
Gender: Male

Re: races. we ain't

Postby Sam. » Jul 20th, '11, 12:03

that was awesome man good shit there nice flow even tho the structure went hay wire but hell it was okay but the only thinh that i hated was too much rhyming with the word "face" .

keep at it . :y:
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
Image
Image
User avatar
Sam.
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 16630
Joined: Jun 7th, '10, 11:10
Location: India
Gender: Male

Re: races. we ain't

Postby M&M59 » Jul 20th, '11, 12:43

MCSam wrote:that was awesome man good shit there nice flow even tho the structure went hay wire but hell it was okay but the only thinh that i hated was too much rhyming with the word "face" .

keep at it . :y:


thanks for the feedback. :D
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe
User avatar
M&M59
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Apr 30th, '11, 14:14
Location: Denmark
Gender: Male

Re: races. we ain't

Postby Suicide » Jul 21st, '11, 03:31

Good concept. Structure was haywire, but that don't really many anything in these text raps. Could be a good ass song if you added more and a chorus.

But, you did good. :b:
Image
User avatar
Suicide
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 339
Joined: Nov 13th, '10, 00:01
Location: USA
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users