A Hurt so rare

[J.R.]

Track 2 off my new album, Live It up.
Here also.: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread. ... ost8194305
A Hurt So Rare..

(Verse 1)
Yo, They say lyrical genius is missing in modern day rap,
I disagree, My rhymes are hotter than a sun-burnt snatch!
Speaking of that, some shit needs to get off my back,
This girl I know said she could easily replace my ass,
In her head I guess im placing last,
Laying in a bed, checking my heart monitor, yeah it's racing fast,
It's going faster the closer you approach,
You strangle me and it feels like there's a noose around my throat,
But do you let go? Or show mercy? Nope!
Who decided on this, I never put in my vote!

(Chorus)
A hurt so rare,
So strong,
Trying to fit in where I don't belong,
A Hurt so rare,
So strong,
Trying to fit in where I don't belong.

(Bridge)
So much pain
Suffering,
Rougher than,
Nothing to gain,
But I'll tough it man,
Safe to say,
This wasn't my plan,
Didn't map out total suffering.

(Verse 2)
When I first thought about love, I was excited,
And her? Her life was great, using people, breaking hearts,
She found me useful, I guess she became delighted,
When she found she could use me, I was the target mark,
Then she broke my heart, tore it apart like glass,
Thought I was first at the start, now? I'm in last..

(Chorus)
A hurt so rare,
So strong,
Trying to fit in where I don't belong,
A Hurt so rare,
So strong,
Trying to fit in where I don't belong.

[Mr Change]

Looks pretty good but why the verses so short?

[Sam.]

again no link of feed who approved this read the rules bra .
any way this shit is awesome son i really liked the concept , flawless lacked multis but fuck it .

care to return feed on some of my older shit (saying this cuz it didn't get the apt feed) .

[J.R.]

Thanks, And I will Sam, later today Give me..2 hours for the link of feed, I had one and lost it. I'll post it once I find the shit

Link of feed:

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=108296&p=1704174#p1704174

[Sam.]

Thanks, And I will Sam, later today Give me..2 hours for the link of feed, I had one and lost it. I'll post it once I find the shit

Link of feed:

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=108296&p=1704174#p1704174

not being greedy but here's another
viewtopic.php?p=1505039#p1505039

[J.R.]

Thank you so much, good to see some serious, lengthy feed from a member I respect.

[J.R.]

:happy:
You still ain't tell me about that new album though, you record in audio ?

When I have the money for a recording setup, you bet. My Mic's basically fucked.

As for now, I'm probably going to drop song by song written, with links of feed of course and then make an album thread with a link to each song.

Watch out for the collab in my sig. Let's just say you'll need a hose to cool me down on that verse. (Terrible punchline ftw)

[Atone]

i would have to hear this on adio, it's hard to really catch on with this one cuz of the wording and the question marks, i like the bridge tho, looks like somethin Kanye would do

[J.R.]

Eh. Last bump then I'll let this shit die.

[Innovation]

Good drop.

The second verse was much better than the first in my opinion. The rhyming in the first verse was patchy at times. You picked it up in the second verse though.

Obviously multi's aren't everything in rap - far from it. But I think you should experiment with them a little bit more, particularly in your first verse. It'll also benefit you in particular seeing how this will be recorded and multi's usually sound better on the ear.

Other than that, good drop mate.

[Static]

That was great man! You had alot of great multies, and the flow is perfect. It's id really cool that you threw in a bridge there too, that's something I don't see that often on here. I don't have anything bad to say about it TBH, so I can't give much constructive critisism.

My favorite part was the second verse. I love the rhyme scheme you have going on there too.

And it sucks that you can't record yet, but keep writing untill you can! You're awesome!