C.R.E.A.M & Innovation - Insult To Injury

[Sam.]

Good drop bronies .

Nice to see that both of you wrote this over a beat that is why i enjoyed reading it with the beat ,shit was nicely put both of you good job,moving ahead inno's verse was better in my opinion and cream dont feel sad son your piece was good but the choice of words in the starting bars were not good that made it look average but you managed to pick up at the end of the piece which was saving factor for you .

Just on a side note inno man no shit but the sentences were a little ehhh when you read it normally w/o the beat of course while i can say the exact opposite that creams piece was readable w/o the beat too.

[Innovation]

Cheers.

[ArsheyHaq]

Hey, Innovation! Where have you been? Haven't seen you drop in a while. But you have gotten a lot better in that time Your multies have gotten longer, and less forced-sounding. Shit was good, but then again I've never seen a bad drop from you. You conveyed your message clearly. Rhymes and flow were consistent. Idk what to tell you as constructive criticism, really. Except...why'd you pick acting as your theme topic?

What up, C.R.E.A.M? It's crazy how much you've improved in just the past few months! Before your rhymes didn't make much sense, and sounded a little too forced (lol sorry). But now, damn, I can see you've caught on pretty quickly and you're conveying messages through your rhymes without much struggle. I liked your topic; trying to make it as a rapper. I think it would pertain to a lot of people on this board, for obvious reasons. Only thing is, the rhymes were a little iffy around the beginning:

"If your passion to achieve strong enough
And your assholes enimies are picking on your dream, no applause from them
Cause when it may seem just hard on ya
Remember that you can be whatever you wanna be bro .. the fuck's stopping ya ?"

Is "strong enough" supposed to rhyme with "applause from them"? I can kinda see it working, but it's reaching.

Anyway, good drop you two. Went flawlessly with the beat

[Innovation]

Hey, Innovation! Where have you been? Haven't seen you drop in a while. But you have gotten a lot better in that time Your multies have gotten longer, and less forced-sounding. Shit was good, but then again I've never seen a bad drop from you. You conveyed your message clearly. Rhymes and flow were consistent. Idk what to tell you as constructive criticism, really. Except...why'd you pick acting as your theme topic?

What up, C.R.E.A.M? It's crazy how much you've improved in just the past few months! Before your rhymes didn't make much sense, and sounded a little too forced (lol sorry). But now, damn, I can see you've caught on pretty quickly and you're conveying messages through your rhymes without much struggle. I liked your topic; trying to make it as a rapper. I think it would pertain to a lot of people on this board, for obvious reasons. Only thing is, the rhymes were a little iffy around the beginning:

"If your passion to achieve strong enough
And your assholes enimies are picking on your dream, no applause from them
Cause when it may seem just hard on ya
Remember that you can be whatever you wanna be bro .. the fuck's stopping ya ?"

Is "strong enough" supposed to rhyme with "applause from them"? I can kinda see it working, but it's reaching.

Anyway, good drop you two. Went flawlessly with the beat

Awesome feed bro. Much appreciated! Hook me up sometime for a collab, it'd be awesome.

Thank you again!

[MikeNUFC]

Innovation - You've improved ten fold. Rhyming was well structured and came across as relatively effortless. Could have done with a few more internals but the "sarcastic remark" internal was very. very smooth sounding. Couldn't grasp a flow at all but doesn't really make sense commenting on that, as long as you have it flowing smooth yourself. Although the content is nothing new and slightly cliched, it's enjoyable enough to read. The ending was nice.

CREAM - I've seen you write better. The rhyme placement seemed odd, especially early on. And the way you've structured it (on paper, so to speak) makes it pretty hard to follow. When you're writing for text and your looking for feed from people, try and structure so it's easier for the reader to follow; that's who you're writing it for, after all. Content was routine, although you had some of your own unique moments, which was pleasing - like Innovations verse, I liked the end. Overall, it wasn't that great, though, I didn't think. You can definitely do better, and have done before.

[Innovation]

Innovation - You've improved ten fold. Rhyming was well structured and came across as relatively effortless. Could have done with a few more internals but the "sarcastic remark" internal was very. very smooth sounding. Couldn't grasp a flow at all but doesn't really make sense commenting on that, as long as you have it flowing smooth yourself. Although the content is nothing new and slightly cliched, it's enjoyable enough to read. The ending was nice.

Thanks for the feed, Mike! Much appreciated bud.

[Maybe]

The main improvement I've noticed is that less of the rhymes sound forced, and more of them sound organic. There's a lot more presence here than in previous work I've read. The flow in both verse was on par with most quality stuff, but the slight difference is (at least if I read correctly) was that it didn't break as much, and it flowed thoroughly which is nice. Lyrically, it's more-so typical than normal, but that doesn't detour from the general ace choice of words and "vibe".

Overall, great piece. Definitely a good match up for a collab.

[Ka0t1c]

good message from cream

[Innovation]

The main improvement I've noticed is that less of the rhymes sound forced, and more of them sound organic. There's a lot more presence here than in previous work I've read. The flow in both verse was on par with most quality stuff, but the slight difference is (at least if I read correctly) was that it didn't break as much, and it flowed thoroughly which is nice. Lyrically, it's more-so typical than normal, but that doesn't detour from the general ace choice of words and "vibe".

Overall, great piece. Definitely a good match up for a collab.

Thank you, Maybe!