Realization

[JamaicanPattlez]

Verse:

Grew up to be a man who hates the thought of love,
Cause back when I was young, months passed and felt none,
The sun would rise, I was no one's hun, surprise,
And wonder why chicks didn't find me fun at night,
So I'd cry, and I always wondered why I can't dress fly,
And I always wondered why I'm not the coolest guy,
I was unable to buy Nikes, but my smile was so bright,
Like I was a shining light, reaching for my own heights,
It's like life loved being spiteful, and it found it delightful,
But it was a trifle, and a knife's pulled when I'm being insightful,
A tight pull on my brain's saying 'Are you freaking insane!?',
'Trying to enter the fame game when you always quit in-game?'
That's when I knew it was me causing issues that you see,
I felt like a foolish geek, so I started rhyming in my loose leaf.

I feel like this one was lacking, but let's see your opinions! Thoughts are welcome!

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=121695

[Sam.]

First of the lof is not proper.

Well that's a nice drop there man,looks like you worked on the flow cuz it was just perfect,the content was awesome and real personal ,well i thought this was flawless so i can't think of anything that you need improve from this verse .

[JamaicanPattlez]

First of the lof is not proper.

Well that's a nice drop there man,looks like you worked on the flow cuz it was just perfect,the content was awesome and real personal ,well i thought this was flawless so i can't think of anything that you need improve from this verse .

Thanks man! Appreciate it. Goes to show hard work paying off!

[Eedee]

Verse:

Grew up to be a man who hates the thought of love,
Cause back when I was young, months passed and felt none,
The [b]sun would rise[/b], [b]I was no one's hun[/b], surprise,
And wonder why chicks didn't find me fun at night,
So I'd cry, and I always wondered why I can't dress fly,
And I always wondered why I'm not the coolest guy,
I was unable to buy Nikes, but my smile was so bright,
Like I was a shining light, reaching for my own heights,
It's like life loved being spiteful, and it found it delightful,
But it was a trifle, and a knife's pulled when I'm being insightful,
A tight pull on my brain's saying 'Are you freaking insane!?',
'Trying to enter the fame game when you always quit in-game?'
That's when I knew it was me causing issues that you see,
I felt like a foolish geek, so I started rhyming in my loose leaf.

I feel like this one was lacking, but let's see your opinions! Thoughts are welcome!

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=121695

Pretty flawless flow there man.

That bolded/underlined part is such a clever inverse! Was it intentional? Because if it was, nice. If it wasn't, still nice but lucky! :P

Very personal. I like it a lot. Nice post dude. Will definitely jump right on any other posts of yours' in here!

If you want, feed me back? Either one of these will be great!

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=122108 (Rainy Day)
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=122090 (Out Of My Mind)

Thanks! And again, nice work with this verse.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Yeah, I made that intentionally! That one I had fun with!

[Eedee]

Yeah, I made that intentionally! That one I had fun with!

Well then that calls for a "nice one, dude!"

[JamaicanPattlez]

Yeah, I made that intentionally! That one I had fun with!

Well then that calls for a "nice one, dude!"

Haha thank you. :P I've got a long way still though!

[Eedee]

Yeah, I made that intentionally! That one I had fun with!

Well then that calls for a "nice one, dude!"

Haha thank you. :P I've got a long way still though!

Me too. At least we'll improve together! Haha.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Fo' sho', homie. I use this section for experience and learning!

[Eedee]

Same here!

[JamaicanPattlez]

I've got a sick couple bars I made yesterday, I really wanna finish her up. I'm putting it up when it's done.

[Eedee]

I've got a sick couple bars I made yesterday, I really wanna finish her up. I'm putting it up when it's done.

I look forward to it!

[JamaicanPattlez]

I've got a sick couple bars I made yesterday, I really wanna finish her up. I'm putting it up when it's done.

I look forward to it!

Preview of it!

Fuckin' calamity, damn it he's changing my Rap CD,
Bluffin' he's bad but see, he doesn't know about Rhapsody,
And actually he's practically the chick from the flick Amity,
I'm like a manatee drinking banana tea, this shit's like a fantasy.