The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Sick Fuck

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Sick Fuck

Postby Wreck » Aug 28th, '11, 19:15

Feed- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=123724&p=1739769#p1739769


I'm a hopeless bastard, I'll tie a rope around your casket & throw it in your attic
I'm still smoking your ashes since my last hit, choking like B-Rabbit, I'm a prodigy causing havoc
Still as sick like Charles Manson, eat a corpse, & beat a body in a morgue
That's my hobby, not a sport, I'll stab your body in the lobby with a fork
Still stealing from the homeless, while I'm video taping Bin Laden
on a island with iscariots, causing violence- sins & miscon-duct
Red Rum red rum, fire to the White house, I set one
Burn a hole through your flesh, while you fuck Judge Judy, no objection
Blood clots, blood shot eyes after 8 balls, bloody chainsaws
Break-jaws, shave-balls, a midget fucks your mom with his nuts- length-tall
Robbed-a-bank, stuck the money in your mother & father's prada-bag
Alotta fags, need to go now like melted lava, & body bags
Kiss-my-Irish-cheeks, with a pirate's teeth, while he's tired asleep
a wired-creep, I slash his tires while my boss fires me
My Beats Page- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wreckles ... 08?fref=ts
Image
My Debut Album- Life or Death- Coming Soon
User avatar
Wreck
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3511
Joined: Sep 5th, '08, 23:19
Location: South Jersey
Gender: Male

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby ArsheyHaq » Aug 28th, '11, 19:39

Seems like this was just one of those just-fuckin'-around type of raps you did just for fun. Correct me if I'm wrong. Some parts were pretty ill, but then they were followed by lines that didn't have any business being there. If you need me to point out which lines specifically I will, but I think they're pretty obvious. Rhyming was good though, and was the high-point of the piece (which it should be). Except, having trouble figuring out if 'Laden' is supposed to rhyme with 'conduct'..? Overall, it was a fun piece to read, with some pretty witty/funny lines. Here are my favorites:

"I'm a hopeless bastard, I'll tie a rope around your casket & throw it in your attic
I'm still smoking your ashes since my last hit, choking like B-Rabbit, I'm a prodigy causing havoc
Still as sick like Charles Manson, eat a corpse, & beat a body in a morgue
That's my hobby, not a sport, I'll stab your body in the lobby with a fork"

and

"Burn a hole through your flesh, while you fuck Judge Judy, no objection"
ArsheyHaq
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 289
Joined: Jan 21st, '11, 22:21

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby Wreck » Aug 28th, '11, 19:43

ArsheyHaq wrote:Seems like this was just one of those just-fuckin'-around type of raps you did just for fun. Correct me if I'm wrong. Some parts were pretty ill, but then they were followed by lines that didn't have any business being there. If you need me to point out which lines specifically I will, but I think they're pretty obvious. Rhyming was good though, and was the high-point of the piece (which it should be). Except, having trouble figuring out if 'Laden' is supposed to rhyme with 'conduct'..? Overall, it was a fun piece to read, with some pretty witty/funny lines. Here are my favorites:

"I'm a hopeless bastard, I'll tie a rope around your casket & throw it in your attic
I'm still smoking your ashes since my last hit, choking like B-Rabbit, I'm a prodigy causing havoc
Still as sick like Charles Manson, eat a corpse, & beat a body in a morgue
That's my hobby, not a sport, I'll stab your body in the lobby with a fork"

and

"Burn a hole through your flesh, while you fuck Judge Judy, no objection"


Thanks for the feed bro. The Judge Judy line was my least favorite tbh, but about the Laden line, a lot of people make it rhyme a little bit. Also, Eminem used accents so that certain rhymes were easier to rhyme with words they normally wouldn't rhyme exactly with, so he was able to get away with it. Those 2 didn't rhyme, you're right, I should of edited it, but I liked the line regardless.

Appreciate it you breaking it down though, thank you :y:.
My Beats Page- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wreckles ... 08?fref=ts
Image
My Debut Album- Life or Death- Coming Soon
User avatar
Wreck
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3511
Joined: Sep 5th, '08, 23:19
Location: South Jersey
Gender: Male

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby Wreck » Aug 28th, '11, 19:46

Actually I take back what I said about the Laden line, Bin Laden and miscon rhyme mostly, that's why I put it like that, misconduct doesn't rhyme with Bin Laden, but that's why I put the dash in between. That was on purpose so that THEY did rhyme. Just wanna clarify that, I forgot to look at that before I responded to your feed.
My Beats Page- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wreckles ... 08?fref=ts
Image
My Debut Album- Life or Death- Coming Soon
User avatar
Wreck
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3511
Joined: Sep 5th, '08, 23:19
Location: South Jersey
Gender: Male

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby ArsheyHaq » Aug 28th, '11, 20:06

Actually, now that I say it to myself I can totally hear "misconduct" and "Bin Laden" rhyming. Good find :y:
ArsheyHaq
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 289
Joined: Jan 21st, '11, 22:21

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby Wreck » Aug 28th, '11, 21:19

ArsheyHaq wrote:Actually, now that I say it to myself I can totally hear "misconduct" and "Bin Laden" rhyming. Good find :y:


:y: Thanks bro.
My Beats Page- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wreckles ... 08?fref=ts
Image
My Debut Album- Life or Death- Coming Soon
User avatar
Wreck
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3511
Joined: Sep 5th, '08, 23:19
Location: South Jersey
Gender: Male

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby Wreck » Aug 30th, '11, 07:59

Bumpp
My Beats Page- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wreckles ... 08?fref=ts
Image
My Debut Album- Life or Death- Coming Soon
User avatar
Wreck
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3511
Joined: Sep 5th, '08, 23:19
Location: South Jersey
Gender: Male

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby Ka0t1c » Aug 30th, '11, 19:25

dude, i enjoyed it, i really did, sounds like you're getting into horror core, i think you can get deeper with this piece but for what it is, i say you wrote it pretty well, looking forward to seeing more good drops by you. :D
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
User avatar
Ka0t1c
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3919
Joined: Nov 16th, '05, 08:28
Location: Hell, Room #5150
Gender: Male

Re: Sick Fuck

Postby Wreck » Aug 30th, '11, 22:05

Ka0t1c wrote:dude, i enjoyed it, i really did, sounds like you're getting into horror core, i think you can get deeper with this piece but for what it is, i say you wrote it pretty well, looking forward to seeing more good drops by you. :D


wow thanks for the love man, & the honesty as well, appreciate it. I definitely will drop more shit soon, most definitely. Thanks again.
My Beats Page- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wreckles ... 08?fref=ts
Image
My Debut Album- Life or Death- Coming Soon
User avatar
Wreck
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3511
Joined: Sep 5th, '08, 23:19
Location: South Jersey
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Majestic-12 [Bot]