am i the only one

[Ka0t1c]

link of feedback:
http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=123999&p=1741717#p1741717

Am i the only one who feels this trip
cuz it's like nobody sees that i even exist
so my reality i believe is just a myth
how could honestly, the mischevious pull my switch?
it's probably obvious i was meant to drown deep in the abyss
with my feet piled in cement and then i'm bein sent to the piranha fish
still, while my dream's i do wish to become found through my risks
i'm not sorry now, until i'm finally rich
on the mound i will pitch who i'm up against
before my hip hop style and talent gets nixed
yet you cannot copy my script or follow my blueprints
unless you value conflict, i suggest tryin on your proper helmets
don't ever borrow elements of nonsense, always stay cautious
intelligence and knowledge trumps counterfeit and now a pop quiz:
are you confident in our Government's promises often profittin off us?
we're hostages to their offices, they need to soften up
start the punishment, speak somethin honest, populous
what about college kids, need binoculars?
it's awful, officer i'm fallin by these toxics, call it chaotic
pardon me sir, i'm not always on topic, i saw my own coffin
calm me down and tell me it's nothin, audience around watchin

[the real slim shady]

when you told us to read it... did you want feedback too?

[Ka0t1c]

that's up to you, but thanx for reading

[the real slim shady]

haha, i will give my worthless feedback..
i like it, it seems to flow reasonably well, and i like the imagery its a bit too long for me (giggidy), but i like it anyway

i can only be bothered to do one quote, so i will chose a bit at random..

are you confident in our Government's promises
often profittin off us, we're hostages to their offices
they need to soften, speak somethin, populous

this bit is good... nice lyrics, good idea behind it and it rhymes, so well done, you have earned a cookie. sadly i dont have one.

When i said worthless.. i think you see what i mean.

[Ka0t1c]

Thanx for liking it, and i'm working on it some more later!

[Wreck]

This was real good man. The first half of it flowed perfectly, I was rapping to it in my head. Creative, the vocabulary in this was real good too. Nice one man, keep grinding .

Looking forward to your next piece in here.

[Alex2012]

I chose my favorite sentences, really.

Am i the only one who feels this trip
cuz it's like nobody sees that i even exist
so my reality i believe is just a myth
how could honestly, the mischevious pull my switch?
well it's probably obvious i was meant
to drown deep in the abyss
with my feet piled in cement
and bein sent to the piranha fish
still, while my dream's i do wish
to become found through my risks
i'm not sorry now, until i'm finally rich
on the mound i will pitch who i'm up against
before my hip hop talent gets nixed
yet you cannot copy my script or follow my blueprints
unless you value conflict, put on your proper helmets
don't ever borrow elements of nonsense, be always cautious
intelligence and knowledge trumps counterfeit
and now a pop quiz:
are you confident in our Government's promises
often profittin off us, we're hostages to their offices
they need to soften, speak somethin, populous
it's awful, i'm fallin by these toxics, call it chaotic
i'm not always on topic, i saw my own coffin
calm me and tell it's nothin, audience, because i'm slumpin
my hobby i'm rushin, you want my apologies, i'm not blushin
my blood's pumpin stronger beyond your cluster
i'm watchin from my flyin saucer, you ostracize my posture

I loved the opening lines, probably if I was able to write, I could write something like that.

@ the real, I was better than you in the kind worthless comments. lol

[Ka0t1c]

thanx for checking out, i appreciate the feedback!