Dark Days

[Wreck]

Feed- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124156&p=1741991#p1741991

A deranged, insane man who flies planes to Amelia Earhart's grave
Burn crosses for days, suburban excursions, dark days & car chases
Seize the day; carpe- dead poets, red explosives, & hearts-sacred
Dine & dash- eating out in far places, heart's pacing, while martyrs are hated
Depression, leads to excessive anger, shit, I'm obsessed with danger
Exit chambers, secret passageways, & some cliff-hangers
Real trouble, profound actions, & without compassion- I drown among masses
Surrounded by taxes, but found my passion, so much bullshit in life- laxatives
My whole family's nuts, I love rapping much, to attack exactly what
fears me the most, so hear me boast, about my happiness rushes
Listen close, as I piss & moan, forced & prison thrown, imprisoned alone
Distant hopes, thinking about what I miss most, & how the rich get richer though
Just a visit would show, how much people care, & how they turn fiction's folks
Tales of unhappiness & fear, as happiness appears, and so the mission's closed

[Wreck]

Bump.

[Ka0t1c]

i agree with blending your lyrical talent with emotional pieces

[Man1x]

Flow was amazing, rhymes were off the hook. Try for more emotional pieces or go ahead a write a song song like Stan then get that shit recorded.

[Wreck]

Damn dude, from "Fear me the most", there was so much goodness with the sound "S". I dunno, I really love it when it just falls on the ear.

Well, this to me just seemed like a piece of show your lyrical skills and it was shown very well. Although there were no real stand out lines for me, like the MJ one lol but I liked this line:

"Depression, leads to excessive anger, shit, I'm obsessed with danger"

When I read it, I had Em's voice from Bad Influence on there when he says, "Shit, you only live once, might as well die now!"

Good stuff man, now it's good to know you can be lyrical but let's try applying it to some emotional pieces. If you manage to combine the two, that'll be fantastic.

Thanks again Menzo for the breakdown, & feed- I totally appreciate it. & tbh, I try to intermingle both aspects- lyricism, & realness into each record I write. Not to mention that my debut album coming pretty soon is called, Life Or Death. I truly look to embody both aspects.

Glad you enjoyed it. And yeah, I loved that line as well, not to be cocky, but I felt, especially with my really bad depression, & impatient anger, that it fit perfectly flow wise, and as far as the lyrics/realism are concerned.

i agree with blending your lyrical talent with emotional pieces

Thanks bro.

:o Flow was amazing, rhymes were off the hook. Try for more emotional pieces or go ahead a write a song song like Stan then get that shit recorded.

Wow thanks man- I truly appreciate the love. I'm going to record this most definitely. Thanks again. I'm gonna keep writing deep songs like this, but still with lyricism in mind as well .

[Man1x]

Feed mine, bro? http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124299

And for sure you should record it. Might want to expand it and make it longer though unless you really want a short song haha, I know that was stupid but juss saying.

[Wreck]

Feed mine, bro? http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124299

And for sure you should record it. Might want to expand it and make it longer though unless you really want a short song haha, I know that was stupid but juss saying.

Yeah I will feed yours bro.

What did you think about the actual verse though?

I will definitely record it too btw. And this verse definitely won't be the whole verse, I'm going to expand it to be longer .

[Man1x]

I thought this:

:o Flow was amazing, rhymes were off the hook. Try for more emotional pieces or go ahead a write a song song like Stan then get that shit recorded.

I already feeded back I'll do it again:
My favorite line is the bullshit laxatives line, creative. The flow is good through out the piece, and amazing rhymes. Really good piece!