Link of feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124477
[Chorus]
Sometimes I feel like my life's falling away from me
My dad died, my mum moved away, it's just killing me
My home, my school, my work, I hate it all
And everyone else is spectating waiting for me to fall
[Verse 1]
It has been said that things that don't kill you only make you stronger
But it makes my mind weak because my life's lasting longer
You wanted me to fight on, saying that I ain't hurt
But I can't just move right on, this just ain't what
I envisioned as I move along this small path I'm on
Reached a fork in the road, and realised I was alone
But what can I do to make myself feel better?
I'll just jump off this building in some rainy weather
Suicidal thoughts, never once got rid of them
Who am I? A lonely man with no-one to hold him
And everyone's outside, watching me about to fucking die
What am I? The evil Devil's poster child?
I thought God would protect me, but he wants me to cry
And so I say sayonara to this cruel world, goodbye
[Chorus]
Sometimes I feel like my life's falling away from me
My dad died, my mum moved away, it's just killing me
My home, my school, my work, I hate it all
And everyone else is spectating waiting for me to fall
but some lines didn't rhyme unless your doing some accent and bending the words. You didn't improve on flow, it's alright, only a second piece, and the rhymes are still single syllables. Good subject matter though, that was a huge improvement
