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The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby VenomBlackViper » Aug 29th, '11, 00:47

GameTheory wrote:Awesome verse as usual, flow was really great but the "stoned to death" rhyme made a stain on it imo. Lyrically it was that gangsta/demonic shit you always do. I don't have another criticism to this verse but I have a criticism in general - Every verse of yours basically is about this (Maybe minus the EyeQ feature), not saying it's bad, just saying you should do more concepts/topic, nahmean? Great verse


That stoned to death line is an AB-AA-BB scheme:

Won't get off my high horse till i'm stoned to death
Unplug your mic cord on your live tour
& choke your neck till you're a broken wreck

As for my subject matter, well yeah, I don't take writing seriously enough to actually try being innovative & shit at this point. I've written part of 1 emotional song & even that could be considered horrorcore since it's about killing my entire family. For the most part my writing consists of thinking of clever punchlines & turning them into bars.
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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby BigBoss » Aug 29th, '11, 01:39

fuckin raw :y:
RIP IN PEACE VIGILANCE
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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby EyeQ200 » Aug 29th, '11, 13:12

VenomBlackViper wrote:
GameTheory wrote:Awesome verse as usual, flow was really great but the "stoned to death" rhyme made a stain on it imo. Lyrically it was that gangsta/demonic shit you always do. I don't have another criticism to this verse but I have a criticism in general - Every verse of yours basically is about this (Maybe minus the EyeQ feature), not saying it's bad, just saying you should do more concepts/topic, nahmean? Great verse


That stoned to death line is an AB-AA-BB scheme:

Won't get off my high horse till i'm stoned to death
Unplug your mic cord on your live tour
& choke your neck till you're a broken wreck

As for my subject matter, well yeah, I don't take writing seriously enough to actually try being innovative & shit at this point. I've written part of 1 emotional song & even that could be considered horrorcore since it's about killing my entire family. For the most part my writing consists of thinking of clever punchlines & turning them into bars.


The main point of his feed was that.. you need me! :coffee:

Edit: I'm going to feed later by the way :sweating:
Fuck a sig, i go accapella.
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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby ArsheyHaq » Aug 31st, '11, 07:18

Cosh wrote:holy shit, a masterpiece like this gets passed on while complete shit like ***** and ******, not to mention ************ get feedback.


I'm still trying to figure out who or what those can be haha
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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby WakeUpShow » Sep 2nd, '11, 18:09

bump,,
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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby Lateralus » Sep 3rd, '11, 14:20

[COSH]
If I see the face of death, I'll punch it in it's jaws of life
March against violence, but make sure to pause and fight
The Armageddon is at hand, Cosh is here to decimate
If you think we're friends we'll have a beer and set it straight
Death is your second fate, your first is a can of whoop-ass
I think you were led astray, I'll put you back on hell's foot path
One bad seed leads to a family tree full of rotten apples
2 black eyes after you had gotten grappled
Outlaw Equestrians riding into town square, weapons cocked
Hell is open, Heaven's locked. Hellish omens, Seven flocks.
There ain't no Pearly Gates....cause I've swallowed the key
Headed for an Early Grave.....If you're following me
Pull the wool over your eyes when I pack a pistol, BLAM!
If you're a wolf in sheep's clothing you're the sacraficial lamb!
I know you've led a tumultuous life
But if there's hell to pay, you'll pay the ultimate price


Impeccably structured rhyming throughout the verse. Love the way you juggle your rhyme schemes and have several interesting schemes going on at one time (eg. lines 3-7 when you stay on the "decimate/set it straight/second fate/led astray" scheme and introduce the "whoop-ass/foot path" in there as well).

The sheep motif in the "wool over your eyes"/"wolf in sheep's clothing"/"sacrificial lamb" section is super clever. Diiiig it.

Liking the Rhyme Asylum-esque opening punchline. Very strong way to start the verse. And the "One bad seed leads to a family tree full of rotten apples" is an excellent line, strengthened by the "bad seed"/"family tree" internal.

LOVE DAT SHIT!

[ARSHEYHAQ]
Apocalyptic texts foreshadowed how we'd drop bombs/
and put a plague on you, but to think you're more sick than Thou? You've thought wrong!/
your God's gone--worship the GROUND we walk on!/
The Four Horsemen, but we ain't horsin' around--we lock horns/
with your bull shit cuz you need your vertex examined/
we hungry, ate everyone in our path and left you cursed with a famine/
when it comes to inflicting hurt we're the champions/
it's our work on the planet, the earth is our canvas; behold our masterpiece!/
can't control our actions; we're cold and dastardly/
we mold disasters 'till the toll on casualties hits its full capacity/
'till every single one of your souls is fast asleep!/
we'll turn you to smolderin' ash while sippin' a Folgers glass of tea/
strollin' casually away from the whole catastrophe/ HAHA
too much momentum when Venom & Cosh roll with Class & me/
we get this shit on lock, Hell, we hold the master key!!!/


Rhyming is definitely the strong point of this verse. Nearly every word in the verse is part of 5 or 6 syllable multi and I can imagine it sounding insaaane when actually rapped (instead of me just reading it in my head). You destroy the "behold our masterpiece" rhyme scheme and it's written with intoxicating bravado. And love that "momentum/Venom" internal.

The Four Horsemen/horsin' around/lock horns/bullshit wordplay is nice.

Only criticism I'd have is that the flow of the first two lines seems a little rushed compared to the rest of the verse. Of course, it's always hard to tell when reading it and what doesn't appear to work on paper often does work with the flow in the writer's head.

But overall, swaaaaaaggeriffic.

[VENOM]
Yo I'm savage insane, I ravage the plains causing famine & plagues
Putting masses in graves, cleansing souls in acid rain
I'll question the precense of god in his face
Made the second john the saint reject all his faith
Ain't scared of another curse, i'll fuck mother earth with a rod of snakes
And have her serving me food for thought on tectonic plates
More young & restless in the grave the older I get
I'll turn a blind eye to the world & cause a solar eclipse
To get my rocks off there's boulders I lift
Won't get off my high horse till i'm stoned to death
Unplug your mic cord on your live tour
& choke your neck till you're a broken wreck
A great mind trapped inside of a brain-cell
Took the chariot of the gods for a joyride on the highway to hell
Hoping to meet the cousin when I sleep in a coffin
The flame won't burn out till I collapse from heat exhaustion


Dope verse. Second last line, in particular stood out to me. Slick slanted rhyming with the "meet the cousin" and "sleep in a coffin", plus it clearly conveys an idea while not being too in your face and obvious. Aaaand, I took it as a subtle Nas homage, which I dig.

Like the first two verses, this verse is full of great rhyming. Strong internals with another curse/Mother Earth (although I think including that rhyme may detract from the flow of the overall verse. But that's just from the way I'm reading it. For all I know, you probably have that shit down tight.) And I like the way you juggle the rhyme schemes with the "high/horse/mic cord/live tour" and the "stoned to death/choke your neck/broken wreck".

Love the wordplay, wit and imagery with the "Took the chariot of the Gods for a joyride on the highway to hell".

[SENTUS]
This is a lyrical massacre with the illest of imagery
I’m killin ya infantry with this syllable symphony
You’ll be feelin the energy when all the work is done
Kickin asses and spittin acid with the serpents tongue
The earth is done when I arrive in horrid twisters
Covered in morbid blisters like one of the Gorgon sisters
When my forces hit ya you’ll cower and weep
Get down on a knee and worship the sound of the beat
The power I keep is unmatched by the darkest of all
The demons who are schemin for some carcass to gnaw
But I was feared, so they left me locked behind bars
And I sat, carvin my paws into the Tartarus walls
But I escaped…so it’s futile to try and hide
My rhyme book was first discovered on Mount Sinai
Now I sit atop my throne cloaked by the lion’s hide
Of the leader from the most violent pride


My favourite verse of the four. Very intelligent, obscure references which I love. The rhyming was incredibly organised and I can imagine how it all flows in my head. Very sophisticated use of internals too.

You're able to conjure some very specific imagery which I think is a hard skill to get a proper grasp on. Seriously can't fault this verse at all.

My favourite line is the "My rhyme book was first discovered on Mount Sinai". Since that was where Moses was given the Ten Commandments, I took that line as your rhymes being compared to a holy scripture/the word of God. So clever. Love it.

Overall, awesome track. A very creative concept without forcing you guys to be too restricted. Any plans to record it?
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Re: The Four Horsemen feat. Sentus, VBV, and ArsheyHaq

Postby WakeUpShow » Sep 3rd, '11, 20:29

FINALLY! someone who knows what they're talking about! thanks alot man. And I don't think we'll record it, cause Sentus is the only one with a mic.
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