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The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

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The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Blu » Oct 20th, '11, 00:52

One verse track, no hook.

[VERSE]
Back when Menzo, was rollin’ with Lorenzo in a Benzo
I was fillin’ a couple tanks full of sharks back then so,
B.Nutz is tryna beef with Geno, guess what man?
We know, you ain’t deadly at all at man, give up!
I mean, creative writing?
Just pussies hating and fighting
Ya’ll are just playin’ sick,
And ya’ll best be prayin’ quick
I mean seriously, you can’t fuck with the TR dream team
Keepin’ us alive, from my rooftop, I can hear StudioLeaks scream
I mean, how you gonna try to set up a beef
When you know you’re not deadlier than a queef?
But to be honest, this ain’t a fair diss track
Cuz I know you pussies wouldn’t dare diss back!
So man, what’s the difference between us?
Well, I like pussy, but you enjoy the penis!
Shit, I was thinkin’ of endin’ this track now
But I can’t stop knowin’ your thinkin’ of my sack, WOW!
Shit, how much damage can you do with a pen?
How much damage can your kid do to you, when you see them fuckin’ with Ken?

LINK TO EP: viewtopic.php?f=71&t=132601
LINK TO FEED: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132616
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Almostlity wrote:Grow up faggots

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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 00:55

Lol @ Dre line.

Back when Menzo, was rollin’ with Lorenzo in a Benzo
I was fillin’ a couple tanks full of sharks back then so,
B.Nutz is tryna beef with Geno, guess what man?



Your late. Me and Geno could be possibly collabing soon o.o

Terrible rhyming, but I sense your new. Good attempt lol. I just wouldn't diss anyone while elevating, Because sadly when I try, I am deadly. I just don't have motivation anymore.

Anyway, keep elevating.
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Blu » Oct 20th, '11, 00:57

I'm not dissing you..
I was simply observing TR while I wrote this track..

Terrible rhyming, eh?
Funny.. when I try people usually say I do good.
'Cept for Sam.. that cheap bastard. :flutter:
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 00:59

I understand, lol. And yes, I mean your end rhymes were good. Lack of inner/ Multis (Something I also struggle with) Kills you here. You need to work on that.

Sam mad?
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 20th, '11, 01:00

Ehhh... I couldn't flow to this one. Keep working hard, my dude. :y:
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Blu » Oct 20th, '11, 01:02

B.Nutz wrote:I understand, lol. And yes, I mean your end rhymes were good. Lack of inner/ Multis (Something I also struggle with) Kills you here. You need to work on that.

Sam mad?

I try to add inners but Sam always says it fucks up my rhyme scheme so I try to stay away from them, haha.

JamaicanPattlez wrote:Ehhh... I couldn't flow to this one. Keep working hard, my dude. :y:

Thanks man. I think I sort of have a special rapping "voice", that's why my tracks seem so out of place sometimes but.. I think I'ma go work on some shit outta the EP to work more on flows and whatnot.

Thanks btw, guys. :y:
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 01:04

Also, I see a lot of Dre/ Em influence.

"Rolling with lorenzo in a benzo,"

"How much damage can you do with a pen?"

Might want to tone it down a bit hah. Get something unique. :y: :y: :y:
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Blu » Oct 20th, '11, 01:05

B.Nutz wrote:Also, I see a lot of Dre/ Em influence.

"Rolling with lorenzo in a benzo,"

"How much damage can you do with a pen?"

Might want to tone it down a bit hah. Get something unique. :y: :y: :y:

I know.. I was listening to What's the Difference while writing this.

I think I might scrap this track tbh. I don't really like it.
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby J.R. » Oct 20th, '11, 01:07

Blu wrote:
B.Nutz wrote:Also, I see a lot of Dre/ Em influence.

"Rolling with lorenzo in a benzo,"

"How much damage can you do with a pen?"

Might want to tone it down a bit hah. Get something unique. :y: :y: :y:

I know.. I was listening to What's the Difference while writing this.

I think I might scrap this track tbh. I don't really like it.

All up to you.

This track's just as fucked up, as slim's wouldve been. :p
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Sam. » Oct 20th, '11, 18:16

Cant take real criticism can you ? This is the type of things that you're gonna get from me.I don't give shit feed man ,grow the fuck up.Just because I'm a little rude in my words you call me a cheap bastard ,bitch please.That's for your own benefit.You learn from your own mistake right ? Or do you wanna continue with the same level that you're at know.You need practice a lot and then post some shit that you really shows that you are practicing but it seems that you just don't wanna listen.Your pieces sucked dick and still does.Quit writing if you can't handle the criticism that you get here.

IMad.
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Blu » Oct 21st, '11, 05:29

Okay, first off, I was being sarcastic you dumb fuck.

Oh I'm sorry that my pieces can't be incredible as your shitty pieces. Spyder literally DESTROYED you on that Bars of Assault track you fucktard.

I don't give a fuck if my pieces suck dick, it's TRShady, not the "real world."

So fuck off you little twat.
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 21st, '11, 07:20

TRMadDistrict.
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Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby SG. » Oct 21st, '11, 07:28

They say errbody mad
Off the radar like Trinidad
I'd lose my head with this
In TR Mad District

I'll feed in a sec. I'll edit this post.
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Blu » Oct 21st, '11, 07:29

Zabe wrote:They say errbody mad
Off the radar like Trinidad
I'd lose my head with this
In TR Mad District

I'll feed in a sec. I'll edit this post.

Don't bother feeding. I'm scrapping the EP anyway.
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Almostlity wrote:Grow up faggots

EminemInsider wrote:Jesus Christ, HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!
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Re: The Rise WRITTEN EP - THE CALL-OUTS TRACK 8

Postby Sam. » Oct 21st, '11, 14:20

Blu wrote:Okay, first off, I was being sarcastic you dumb fuck.

Oh I'm sorry that my pieces can't be incredible as your shitty pieces. Spyder literally DESTROYED you on that Bars of Assault track you fucktard.

I don't give a fuck if my pieces suck dick, it's TRShady, not the "real world."

So fuck off you little twat.

:laughing:

Seriously are you that stupid to realize that I wrote "IMad" at the end with a purpose.DUH ! " I was being sarcastic you dumb fuck" then what do you think i was intending to do.Use your brain if you have some or did you loose it in the Blues.Talk about my pieces bitch please ,I'm 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000... x TIMES better writer than you,so that argument is invalid like your birth certificate.Talk about that collab :laughing: you fail to understand a simple Rhyme Scheme ,no wonder you don't know what Punchlines are ? That piece was full of Punchlines that most of you m&m'z listeners won't understand. Now I feel sad that why I even asked you to feed ,you ignorant fuck.Spyder is a Text Champion ,no doubt his verse is going to be better than me and he didn't destroy me lmaooooooooooooooooooooo.

So I remove the veil from that post and say one final time you're are the worst writer on here ,even for a beginner.Even 14 Y.O can write better than the crap that you write.I was wrong in being so polite in giving you the correct feed that would have helped you improve.Quit writing faggot.

If you bother to reply to this then my friend you need to see a Doctor because you are retarded. :'(
Last edited by Sam. on Oct 21st, '11, 23:45, edited 1 time in total.
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