Hear me cry

[J.R.]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=137111&p=1825687#p1825687

[Intro]
I can't face the facts..
Gotta get off my ass..
and all I can wonder is if you guys,
Seem to catch it in your eyes...
Or wonder why, you can hear me Cry..

[Verse 1]
My heart sinks in my chest as I realize I'm an asswipe,
The people I thought cared, really don't give a crap right?
Thought I could rap tight, only to find out it was a silly delusion,
One day though I just snapped like, I remember Feeling confusion,
I overcame the shit people had said, words like hang it up,
Then I fell back to terrible shit, "Stop, your shamed enough!"
On top of that I'm fucking bipolar. Went back to poetry, then rap,
Then I went back to some emo shit, it's my wrist I'm scracthing the Pen at,
I just want my friends back, I cussed out my best one,
and to the people I've scarred, God please do Bless em
And Ima mess, and I do understand this to be true..
God, I'ma just stand here, everyone's left me but you..
'

[Chorus- George Jones]
When I feel so lonesome and I think that I
Can't go on with out you there ain't no use to try
Then I tell my heart the things I mean to do
Run and hide and have a good old fashioned cry.

[Verse 2]
Broken and cold, hopeless and sold
My soul, Hoping for gold to hold,
My many broken pieces together,
or else they gonna blow away with the weather,
I'm better than I was before, but now I'm broken more than ever.
Cold and shaking my heart is tethered, My soul is severed,
And I'm going back to the old me which isn't much better.
Thought I left that little fuckface forever..

[Chorus 2- George Jones]
When my memory starts talkin' back to me
And I almost feel the lips that said goodbye
Then I tell myself the things for me to do
Is run and hide and have a good old fashioned cry.

[J.R.]

Bump.

[Man1x]

Deep shit but JR I don't think anyone hates you. We just wanna give feedback do ya improve dawg. Keep slayin. Hope you don't do Mel shit and this was tight in flow for me I really picked up. Good job B

[JamaicanPattlez]

Pretty good, my dude. I don't think you suck. Keep at it! Rtf? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=138659

[Mr.DGAF]

I'm digging this. It's a pretty serious piece, and you executed it nicely. This is definitely an improvement on what I've been reading from you. My advice is to stick to writing about stuff you know and see, as it seems as though you excel in that regard.