Hater

[JamaicanPattlez]

Sup guys! Here's something I decided to drop on my 19th Birthday! Hope you enjoy it.

LOF:http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=136510

I ain't gonna change you, go ahead and keep your hate,
Cause that same pain made me change and want to become a great,
They say you need a lot of pressure to create that one diamond,
If that really is the case, then maybe I'm just feeling surprises,
Nothing I ever do is ever good for you chumps,
Like I'm wondering if I should go ahead and get a huge gun,
And put it to my temple, cause the stress is making me mental,
But I can handle it to the best and twist it up like cheese pretzels,
My life's hollywood, and now you're just a cheap rental,
You're probably like wood while I've become the beast Quetzacotl,
And I'll continue to roast you with the fire I spit,
I feel like I shoulda told you, I'm the squire of this shit,
My lyrical pictures are like the Biblical scriptures,
You get a fixture of miracles, it's unequivocal mixtures,
So when you take your shots at me, don't you think I'm not loaded,
Cause when you say you're mocking me, I'll split you up like I'm Moses.

[Mr.DGAF]

I like it man. The topic is something I like, it's a bit deeper than some of your previous stuff. And happy birthday too, haha. One thing I'd suggest is to work on making each rhyme perfect. The huge gun line is my main reference here. It kind of disrupts the serious image otherwise painted in the verse, beause I'm picturing this ridiculously large gun next to your head. But yeah, it was a good verse man, but that's something to at least think about. It takes a lot of work, but with you progressing, I felt like I should bring that up. It's the next step man, but it's a tough one. Crafting each rhyme so that it's something special, yet follows your story and is in there for the sole purpose of extending the story, that's tough.

Also, work on that feed bruh haha. You been leaving like one line of feed on stuff, just sayin'.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Haha thank you! Well, I'm usually on a PS3 and by the time I can feed, everybody else said what I was going to say, but yeah. Thanks man.

[J.R.]

A lot deeper than I would expect from you, something you rarely do, nahimean? Pretty dope. You say this was written on your PS3? Damn son. lol. I like it. Keep slayin, like you said.

Ah, no you said you feed on PS3. My bad. Dope ass piece tho man. You finna collab soon?

[JamaicanPattlez]

A lot deeper than I would expect from you, something you rarely do, nahimean? Pretty dope. You say this was written on your PS3? Damn son. lol. I like it. Keep slayin, like you said.

Ah, no you said you feed on PS3. My bad. Dope ass piece tho man. You finna collab soon?

ALL my pieces are typed via PS3. I'm typing right now on it too. Thanks dude! Really appreciate it.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Thanks bro! Haha. I'm gonna continue to work hard!

[mdemaz]

Good shit bro.

I wanted to thank you for liking my page btw, much love doe.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Good shit bro.

I wanted to thank you for liking my page btw, much love doe.

Thanks yo. And no problem bro, I like your material, especially "On Some Chinese Shit" too.

[mdemaz]

Good shit bro.

I wanted to thank you for liking my page btw, much love doe.

Thanks yo. And no problem bro, I like your material, especially "On Some Chinese Shit" too.

Hopefully I won't get slept on forever, I gotta promote, promote and promote..

[JamaicanPattlez]

Good shit bro.

I wanted to thank you for liking my page btw, much love doe.

Thanks yo. And no problem bro, I like your material, especially "On Some Chinese Shit" too.

Hopefully I won't get slept on forever, I gotta promote, promote and promote..

Well, one thing I'd highly recommend is for you to practice enunciating your words properly so it sounds clearer. That, and try keeping with the beat's tempo a bit since some songs felt like you were a bit too fast or slow to give the track justice. Once you nail that, I think you're set. It's all about making your songs listenable as possible. (Cause your lyrics are strong anyway.)

[Words]

Damnit, I'm late. Happy Birthday Pattlez!
Now for the feed-
You had really great rhyming in there, lots of multi-sylable rhyming/complex rhyme schemes. I liked it and you pulled it off very well. Quetzalcoatl didn't know if it was possible to put that in a verse, liked the reference.

Side note- you seem to do that a lot in your pieces. You seem to have such an array of words in your vocabulary/world knowlage that you're able to pull obscure yet awesome words out of nowhere, and use them effectively in a piece. This is something I've seen you do a few times and usually look for it when reading one of your pieces.


The content of this verse was great, the hater's are completely of full of shit message came across very well. Good job on that as well.