twisted.

by **Blu** » Dec 14th, '11, 04:00

Not on the EP.
LOD: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=135831
Beat:

Wanted a go at horrorcore.. check it out:

Blu wrote:This ain't no pretty dream it's a fucking nightmare
I brought the fists so drop the knife and you better fight fair
This is a pretty gritty scheme, I just blocked your sight and air
There ain't no light in there, I stalk you at night because I care
This is the result of snorting weed and smoking coke at the same time
I'm slowly sorting speed and provoking bloke in the same rhyme
That's the Devil, can you hear his stomach grumbling?
Inhabiting my thoughts, I can feel my mind crumbling
I'm waiting to get caught, sneaking through, you might find me stumbling
Whoa I don't feel the same, are these evil chants I'm mumbling?
What is the significance with three six's bonding closely?
Probably ever since these twisted dreams starting responding grossly?
Cut the tape.

by **J.R.** » Dec 15th, '11, 01:30

The multis were dope yet forced. The flow was off, however if you work on that it'd be a really dope piece. Keep improving man. :y:

by **Blu** » Dec 15th, '11, 02:48

Tbh, what do you guys mean when you say the multi's are "forced"? Should I not include any multi's? I'm not fully comprehending what you guys are tellin' me..

Thanks for the feed though.

by **J.R.** » Dec 15th, '11, 03:31

Blu wrote:Tbh, what do you guys mean when you say the multi's are "forced"? Should I not include any multi's? I'm not fully comprehending what you guys are tellin' me..

Thanks for the feed though.

Your fuckin up the flow to fit n the rhymes and ur streaching the bars

by **Words** » Dec 19th, '11, 19:56

Your multi use seemed fine to me, it may just have been the way I was reading it (I read pieces sort of odd sometimes) but they didn't mess up the flow at all for me. I liked the piece in general, not really anything huge that I didn't like. Even the minor things that I didn't like were just personal pref, not a big fan of horrorcore. Technically a good piece. :y: